It's More Than Just Ruffa Vs. Kris

If you have not heard about the fiasco about Ruffa Gutierrez’s walking out at the set of last Sunday’s The Buzz because Kris Aquino made a comment about her transferring to another station (“Aminin mo, mas masaya dito!”), well then you might be one of the last ones to know about it. (Good thing it’s in Youtube. Search it.)

There are times when Kris can be really insensitive and tactless and sometimes at the point of verbally bullying but I think it was also partly Ruffa’s fault for being such a pushover at times.

Well I understand Ruffa. If you grew up in a household that’s brimming with Annabelle Rama, you really can just be one of the two extremes: a ditzy pushover or a headstrong vixen. Speaking of Annabelle Rama, she also said on a show that Ruffa once cried because she was so fed up with Kris Aquino always interrupting her when she talks.

To you, Kris Aquino, it’s rude to interrupt and that’s just it. No rocket science. And to you Ruffa, try to stand for yourself sometimes and grow thicker armor when you know that you’ll be facing the likes of Kris Aquino on a weekly basis. Now, I’m not sure if Ruffa has talked to Kris about this or not, but if she just stood up for herself and demanded the kind of attention and treatment that she deserves, I’m sure Kris will get the message.

Also, it’s best that both of them need to think of the show as a whole before becoming too emotional. If something like this happens again, or happens to YOU, dear reader, try to keep your cool and be patient. If you are in the middle of yet another round of useless ranting or tactless unsolicited comments, calmly change the subject or tell that friend gently that you are not comfortable with what’s being discussed or that you’d like very much to speak and be listened to until you really have spoken your mind out.

Lastly, it’s best to stay strong. I saw the actual episode where Kris was making the comments and then Ruffa said “Tama na Kris, don’t rub it in. I’m sad about it too.” However at that point, Little Miss Chitty Chat still kept on talking about it! Ruffa was obviously at the point of crying and she looked really hurt. I know it’s just work but I’m sure someone like Ruffa treats showbiz work as a big part of their lives (it’s a career for God’s sake!) and she know that work can be filled with forced relationships and (read:) forced relating. If you show them that you’re afraid of something, the self-esteem predators will not think twice about assaulting you.

So if you’re like Ruffa, who has made a bold move and signed a contract with another station (because let’s say it’s true, that she doesn’t like the way Kris treats her and this affects her productivity as an artist) stand up for that and be firm about it. When you’re on the other side of the fence, you’ll see.

And that’s it. It’s more than just Kris vs. Ruffa. There are other hidden bullies in our lives and we must learn to stand up to them and be strong. Don’t let anybody bully you.

If all else fails, learn black magic. Haha just kidding!

How do you stand up to a bully? Got a bully story? Email me at live_out_loud@ymail.com. ♥

You Can Never Be Too Thin

My bestfriend, who, I bet, has a below 27” waist line, claims she’s fat.

Upon hearing this, I turn to my side and look at the mirror across me and see how “fat” she really is. And how “fat” I must be. You know what I think? If that’s fat then Bea Alonzo must be obese.

My best friend is not alone. I know thousands of other girls out there who are actually underweight and still claim they’re fat. I’ve read somewhere: you can never be too rich, or too thin. And I believe every single word. In a world where stick-thin airbrushed models are treated like royalty in terms of beauty, there is really no other way to go but the skinny way.

Needless to say, I cannot put into words how alarmed I feel whenever I also fall into this trap. There are just some days that I think my tummy is bigger than it’s supposed to be. Yes, even when the jeans I bought four years ago still fit me perfectly. Well, I blame media for this! Haha! (And why, I’m part of media too, am I not?)

The thing is, are overdosed with images of “beautiful” people in small waistlines, like having a weight and “body proportion” requirement for every regular beauty pageant in town. Now THAT, plus a hundreds of new slimming pills, procedures and food products which promise a more “beautiful” you once you take sign up under their program. And when we’re exposed to this kind of image overload, we will forever associate being thin with being beautiful and feeling good.

I won’t come all Messianic and self-righteous by saying all those hypocritical magazine cliches (read: “You are beautiful in any size or shape!” and then powder the rest of their pages with malnourished looking girls with smoky eyes.). BUT my advice is, try to learn to really love your body as it is and exhaust its potential. I don’t have a perfect body, and it took such a long time embracing it, really.

Get this: I don’t have long legs, big breasts, a big butt, abs, long fingers. If that’s not enough, my skin is also not perfect. BUT this is the body which helps me achieve the things I have to achieve and it makes me productive. Whenever I contribute something good for myself and for others, it makes me feel good. And I won’t say I’m not doing something about it. I make sure that I dress well. Because I’m skinny (and I think I’m skinny enough) I wear skinny jeans and flattering blouses. My work also requires me to become on-the-go so I just wear flats and love all five feet and two inches of me. Most of all, I make sure that I’m clean and I smell good all the time. Does that sound difficult to you? Of course not.

So today--and I guess this goes for the rest of my life--whenever I look at the mirror, I like what I see…though it took me a long time getting here! (By the way, I tuck my tummy in every now and then. It’s less effort than exercise! Haha!)

Do you also believe that you can never be too thin?

Fun Things to Squeeze In During Lunch Breaks

I LOVE MY LUNCH BREAKS. I just love the idea that food / eating is one of the highest form of glories. I mean, warriors, teachers, priests, students, politicians all stop to eat. That makes eating a really powerful activity (um, literally too) because it makes us realize that we are all, after all, just human. Attached with this glory, lo and behold, the corporate world RESPECTS lunch breaks.

Whenever I have my lunch break, I don’t really eat lunch. I spend it doing other things which are not work-related. And then I get through the day with a smile on my face. I’ve come up with a list of my favorite things to squeeze in during lunch breaks.

1. Chatting with a good friend. This can also be your officemate/ colleague too. Chatting about simply anything—fashion, relationship, hobbies—makes you touchbase into another person’s soul and lets you bond properly. Surely there are other more exciting things than spreadsheets and deadlines and the clients breathing down your necks. Chill. And as for your good friend, if you can’t see each other in person, drop a quick call or indulge in a text-fest.

2. A mani-pedi. Whenever I’m inside a salon, I really feel relaxed. No, wait. What I meant was, I feel like a queen. I make sure that I go to the posh salons because their services are really above par and the attendants won’t size me up like vultures (or at least they do it more subtlely). A mani-pedi only lasts for 30 minutes. If the place is not too busy, request for two attendants to attend to you at once. When you get back to your office, you’ve got some color jumping on your keyboard. Really chic! Bonus: Mani-pedis are really cheap here in Davao.

3. A fabulous drink. No, I’m not suggesting anything alcoholic here. Just a drink which makes you feel better and luxurious. Overpriced fancy coffee? No problem. A fruit shake? Better. For me, it’s Twinings tea in Four Red Fruits. Really relaxing and makes me feel good. Smells good too! Indulge in liquid goodness to help you get through the day feeling good.

4. A fun/ inspiring video. If your office has internet access, then spend the rest of your lunch break by viewing funny/ inspiring videos. If you want, you can even squeeze in one or two episodes of your favorite TV series. I shamelessly admit that my key to blah-away days are one or two episodes of The Hills. Yes, that’s right, the one with the superficial super rich blondes who are always crying over the same men and backstabbing each other. I guess it’s inspiring to know that I’m much more productive than them. And so are 2047298472394 other girls I know. (The numerical figure is a joke.)

5. Cat nap. Why, this is one thing that you should really try but not overdo. Power naps are great when taken at the middle of the day; just be sure that you’re one of those people who are comfortable just leaning over your table and keeping your feet flat on the ground. For shame-free naps, keep your face faced down on your desk and set a cellphone alarm so you can go back to work on time. And don’t forget to gargle with mouthwash after. Tee hee!

6. A Quickie. NO EXPLANATION NEEDED.

See? My even my lunch breaks help me become more productive at work. When you feel good, there is a high likelihood that your output is really good too. Good thing my office does not behave like a corporate leash. Haha! Try some of these out and see the difference. You’ll be surprised how half an hour of me-time can do so much for your well-being.

♥

Beauty and Wellness, For Longer

Truly, life isn’t getting any better for us Filipinos, especially when you talk about money. That is why we need to scrape every penny that we own and invest it in things which are worth investing in. We spend for food, shelter, education, security, and others. In the category I just referred to as “others”, toiletries are classified under that.

So to save up on these not-so-essentials, here are some tips from a budget-conscious “kikay”.

1. Shampoo - Buy everything in bulk. The bigger the container is, the bigger your savings will be. The ones sold in sachets and in smaller containers have higher overhead cost, but the content is the same anyway. For as far as your grocery budget can bring you, buy the biggest body wash, shampoo, conditioner and lotion bottles there are. And you will save a lot in the long run.

Bonus: You also save yourself some emergency trips at the convenience store because you'll be running out of toiletries for much longer.

2. Foundation/ Tinted Moisturizers - It's best to get them in liquid/ gel/ mousse form, because you'll actually need to apply less of the material. They spread out really well, and evenly so you only use less, as compared to powder/ cake foundation. Just be careful with the blending.

Bonus: You don't need to use a puff or a brush to do the blending, and it usually lasts longer and spreads thinner so you get a more natural look.

3. Lipsticks/ Lip gloss/ Lip balms - When you apply a lip product, just do so at your lower lip and just press your lips together to spread out the color. Ta da! You just extended its life up to twice. Moreover, if you have old lipsticks, old lip balms and even old lip glosses, you can melt them all in a microwave and store them in a little container, like those Body shop lip balms. New shade, new shelf life! What a steal!

4. Mascara - It's best to buy waterproof mascara with a winner brush that won't smudge and won't clump your lashes so you don't have to reapply and use more material. Also, the more time you spend in applying mascara means more time leaving the lid open, which dries it out faster. When you are finally done, screw cap very tightly.

Bonus: Don't bother applying for your lower lashes. Also, by following the tip above, you save time.

5. Powder - Choose something light but long lasting, something shine-free also. This way, you don't have to retouch as often. Also, stretch your pressed powder's life by not removing the plastic which lies between the puff and the actual powder. This prevents the puff to constantly rub on the powder and in the process "steal" some powder.

6. Perfume – For your Eau de Toilette and Eau de Parfum stocks, just spray/ apply on areas where your pulse points are, for that is where you will maximize the scent exuding through you. Also, if you’re running out of perfume, just add a few drops of water and pour it on your body lotion. That way, you still wear the scent and you’ve just made the most out of your expensive fragrance.

7. Blush on – It’s best to get the one in gel forms because they blend very easily and you can just put them on-the-go. They create just the correct dewy coverage, and they can last for a very long time because you only use a little and they’d spread well (like those foundations). My 8 gram gel blush lasted for four months of everyday use!

Those are the things which just come off at the top of my head right now. If you have more suggestions, you can email me via live_out_loud@ymail.com.

Indeed, beauty comes with a price. But who says it’s non negotiable?

The Loner Profiles

We know them, we see them all the time. Sometimes we care about them, sometimes we pretend to. Most of the time, they’re just like fleeting ghosts in our everyday drill. Nobody really knows them but they don’t appear to care. We call them loners, oftentimes, replacing the middle N with an S. But who are they really? And why do they have some sort of a social allergy?

Here are some compiled profiles of these so-called loners.

1. The Extremely Shy One. There are certain loners who grew up in an environment where human interaction is not really encouraged. For example, when they were kids, they were told by their parents to lock themselves up in the bedroom when there are visitors. When they were left with a group of people, they were told to not talk to anyone. So then they cannot look at the eyes of the people they just met, they keep their hands to themselves and continue to dwell on corners.

2. The Intellectually Arrogant. They are the ones who have some noisy worlds in their head, telling them that they are far more intelligent and brilliant than everyone else. They opt to not talk to most people because they think that most people can’t say anything worthy of listening anyway. Although they speak with some selected people (the ones who they deem to be worthy of their time) they are usually hated by most people anyway. When they speak, they are usually condescending and when they don’t, they’re most probably curled up with a big book and a big name on it.

3. The One With the Bad Reputation. It’s simple really. They’re alone because no one likes to hang out with them for fear of affiliation. Perhaps they are the ones who have stolen the class money weeks ago, they’re the ones who screwed up your marketing team’s winner proposal or they’re the sellout writers who leaked your feature article ideas to the no-good magazine which was able to publish them first. Hmm. This is challenging. I don’t have any idea what they have in their minds, really. But I’m guessing it’s among regret, lack of apology or indifference.

4. The Weird One. People don’t talk to them because they’re not understood. The luckier ones are tagged as “artists” (fondly?) because they are into things which most people cannot appreciate instantly. For example, an obscure visual art, obsession for some weird-sounding music (along with equally weird-looking musicians) or a semi-humiliating sense of fashion.

5. The Techno-crazy. This might be the child of everything aforementioned, but these techno-crazy kids deserve a loner profile of their own anyway. They’re the ones who are always glued to their cell phones, their portable gaming gadgets, their application-filled ipod-touches or other what-have-yous. They isolate themselves from the world so the people around them also do not feel the incentive to pound through their barricades and try to get to know them. (Hmm, unless they’re really good looking, I guess.)

Are you one of them? Well you better not be. There is NO supplement for human interaction. Need some help overcoming your getting-to-know fears? In for some more loner kwento? You may email me at live_out_loud@ymail.com.

New Year's Resolutions (?)

You know how it works, guys. It’s a new year, a new leaf turning over, and we are most willing to accommodate those little lifestyle changes which are intended to better ourselves. We call them New year’s resolutions. Sometimes, it’s because it’s the momentum for change (for the better), that’s pushing us to do so and sometimes, it’s just plain old pop culture eating us up.

So now it’s the first week of the year and we’re already feeling a little bored over our “resolutions”. And because I’m with you on being bored, I’ve come up with a list of the most famous resolutions which never get used anyway---aside from being ANOTHER recycled resolution for the next year.

1. Diet. Always at the list of Top New Year's Resolutions. Okay, eat healthy, eat right, eat less.. Those are just a few things that we promise to ourselves. But then again, we all know that eating NOT the way we want to is really a difficult thing to do. And yes, anytime of the year. However, there is also no doubt that a lot of us are not contented with the way we look or weigh and we want to do something about it. So even if our hearts are not really into dieting (hey you can get back to that anytime of the year) we just go with the resolution bandwagon and claim “to diet” as our New Year’s resolution. Boo. My advice: slowly trade your current craving with healthier food. If you’re hungry, eat a fruit. Drink less softdrinks, drink more water and try your very best to love vegetables.

2. Save. Even when you spent more than ten years in school and more than ten years of allowance-handing, a lot of us still are not good with budgeting. This is why when we graduate college and finally start earning money for ourselves, we still end up short of cash often. Then we borrow from friends or we scrape every penny we can find. The thing is, financial stability and frugality needs a lot of discipline. The best time to learn about it is NOW. And not when the calendar becomes replaced. Don’t take the cab unless you really have to, don’t spend on weekly manicures, buy the things you need first, and the wants later, and most of all, save a portion of EVERY bit of money that you receive (somewhere that’s really hard to access).

3. Quit smoking/ drinking/ gambling. Those are the three most famous vices that a lot of us are into nowadays. We take the New Year as an opportunity to give ourselves a chance to undress ourselves of these little chains that bind us into spending for things that we don’t need and are even dangerous. But then really, once you are hooked into it, it’s difficult to detach yourself from it. My advice: do not become overwhelmed by the New Year hype and start quitting smoking/ drinking/ gambling for real slowly. Just start doing it less and less often until you quit the habit.

4. Relax. For most of us who lead very busy lives, we tell ourselves by the start of the year that we won’t spend the entire year as stressfully as we ended the last one. We promise ourselves that we will relax once in a while and will spend more quality time with the things that really matter in life—like passion, relationships and a happy home (as opposed to paychecks, commissions and boss’ approval). However, a lot of us don’t really take this into heart because we are too caught up by work and we have been hard-programmed to treat it as our top priority. My advice: get a regular time to relax. Start with Saturdays and/ or Sundays.

So that’s it for blah resolutions. Are you currently sporting one? Update me on the developments, alright? I’ll be waiting--- live_out_loud@ymail.com.

Bitch Varsity Captain's New Year's Resolutions

It's not like it's gonna resolve anything. Whatever.

1. Walk more. As I have very little time to exercise. (More excuses to go shopping! *happydance)

2. Get less professional manicures. Utterly useless and the good ones are expensive. Just keep the nails clean, short and buy a fabulous manicure set for at-home touch ups.

3. Focus on writing career. Beat (not meet!) deadlines, read books/ articles about writing (you can never write too well!), ditch underpaying clients, contribute more material for print publishing AND read more. Be more picky with projects.

4. Write poetry and become seriously seduced with it again.

5. Improve professionalism. Be on time, always look presentable, amp up charisma.

6. Reconnect with old friends. Cheezy but it's a feel-good thing.

7. Save every P10 coin I can find until it goes out of the circulation. What can i say? BWAHAHA.

8. Surf the net for useless stuff less often. And update this blog more often. (I told you, I'm going to focus on my writing career!)

9. Quit stressing about people you can't change. They'll die anyway. Be patient.

10. BE FAITHFUL WITH EVERYTHING PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED.

♥
Bitch Varsity Captain

The New Zabadani Coffee Shop

I’ve been a long time visitor of Zabadani Coffee Shop when it was still a quaint little coffee shop in Rizal. I used to meet up with a lot of people there--people from the art circle (digital artists, film makers, photographers, writers, etc.), old friends, new friends, work mates-- and we end up spending a lot of time there not only because the place has such a unique interior design, but because the layered coffee is undoubtedly the best in town and the prices are great for “budgetarians”.

Back in Rizal, it was just a little place, with geographical descriptions of “just a door” when people new to it try to locate it. True enough, it sat beside Whaw Lechon House on Rizal st. and yes, it was just a door. This is because back then, Zabadani was located at the second floor of the block’s big structure and you can only access it through one front door. Then you ascend a small flight of staircase, and with the first tread, you will smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Instantly, you will know that you have come to the right place.

Aside from their wonderful reputation for really yummy treats, Zabadani also doubles as an internet café. They have computer units where you can surf the net for only P10 an hour. Personally, I liked going there to surf because the monitors were nice and the keyboards were soft. (How shallow.)

But of course, I loved the net surfing way later. Here’s the real kicker:

Zabadani coffee shop boasts of their extensive menu of layered coffee blends, tea varities and even flavored soda. If you’re in for a caffeine fix, some relaxing warmth or some sparkling sweetness, Zabadani is truly the place to go. Kuya Wadi (as he is fondly called), Zabadani’s owner, is a friend to many Zabadani patrons and he won’t let you down the beverages without something to munch on. Zabadani also offers chocolate and oatmeal cookies, a choco-mousse cake, blueberry cheesecake and their famous Bruschetta.

One very remarkable thing about Zabadani coffee shop that doesn’t involve your gastronomical affairs is that the place itself is very homey. There are lush carpets on the floor where you can sit and/ or lie down, soft lighting by the Moroccan lanterns and a mini library of (mostly) Islamic literature.

Today, the new Zabadani coffee shop stands at the heart of the city, at Ponciano Reyes st. Davao city. It is almost thrice the size of the old Zabadani, and its menu seemed to expand as large as the space! As I write, the newer PC units are coming in, more people enjoyed the large large carpeted platforms and there are more lanterns lighting up the place and giving my face a fake glow. Haha!

Now I will surely spend more time at the new Zabadani coffee shop. Just one year down and Zabadani’s thrice in size. I wonder what’s coming in for the next year. Hmm, I’d have more time to ponder on that. For now, let me finish this heavenly Mocacchino first.

What is Organic Skin Care?

A lot of us read the word “organic” in a lot of sources. We find it in the vegetable section of the grocery. We find it even in food packets. We also find it in the labels of the beauty products that we already use and the ones which we are considering of using, because of the “organic” claim.

However, do we really know what organic means? How does it make our skin care regimen a better one? What IS organic skin care?

First, to understand what “organic skin care” is, we’d have to get to know the word organic first. (As “skin care” is easier to understand.) Organic means, according to the Oxford dictionary, the “prodcuced and involving production without use of pesticides, artificial fertilizers or any form of synthetic chemicals”. With that definition, would it be possible to day that all the products which were labeled “organic” really hold that characteristic? I don’t think so.

A lot of marketing people in the skin care department simply use the word “organic” as a come-on for their products. Instantly, when you see the organic label, you sort of trust the product a little bit to do wonders for you. Also, another way of confusing consumers is by labeling their products as having “organic ingredients”. Then they will site a natural ingredient in its purest form. For example, olive oil or coconut oil. They may be organic but remember, there are other chemicals in that beauty product. And that is far from “organic”, mind you.

Organic skin care refers to a beauty regimen which uses only organic products for the pursuit of a healthier skin or the maintenance of healthy skin. For example, the usage of pure honey for your hands’ moisturizing and sugar for exfoliation. Both of these examples only use products which are natural and/ organic. They are safe and they are healthier since it’s nature’s powers working through your skin.

Also, if you want to buy developed beauty products which are preferably organic, simply look for the “certified organic” label along with the seal of a reputable drug association. Most likely, that product is really a certified organic product and it is safe to say that if you use that, you are religiously following an organic skin care routine. Remember, without the label which says “certified organic” whatever that’s labeled organic may be deemed simply meaningless.

Dating for Workaholics

I know a lot of people in different industries who seem to have just little time for recreation, let alone dating. Also, “I’m busy” holds to be a very good excuse for someone who hasn’t done much dating lately. Well, let those days be gone! Here is a quick guide for dating workaholics, or dating when you’re a workaholic.

1. Are you really a workaholic? The first step is to determine if you’re really a workaholic. Psychological studies show that all the “-holic” tendencies (shopaholic, alcoholic, chocoholic, etc.) means a compensation for something else. So if you are a workaholic you’d have to admit it to yourself. Do you ALWAYS work the extra hours? Do you have a job (a department, a boss and a company) which demands excessively from you? Are you struggling to get promoted, or get a “regular” status? Try to track if there’s something wrong in your chosen career and try to lessen it or kill it. If you can’t then work with it and make sure it’s not long term.

2. Prioritize well. If somebody puts you off because they’re “too busy” then it means that they are working on other things but not on you because YOU ARE NOT A PRIORITY. Yes, that’s the cold hard truth guys. BUT if you use the busy excuse to put off dates, well, you might have an issue with yourself. Maybe you’re not really ready to date and you just need a quick way out. Also, if you have more than one date lined up for the week/ month, try to prioritize which are the ones which are more important. If you are with just one partner, remember the more important dates and determine which the best dates are for your partner to enjoy them the most.

3. Pay attention when you are on the date. Put off your Blackberries and your laptops. Hey, if you really wanna land with a partner, you better pay attention to the potential ones. Dates are the perfect times to balance your work and your personal life. When your date is talking, listen to them. Observe. Affirm. Get to know them truly. Do not half-listen while running in your mind the next-day tasks. Switch off work mode and immerse yourself in the moment. Also, try not to talk about work with your date. It’s nice to share funny and charming anecdotes but no complaining/ nagging please. If you think that you have found someone to go serious with, or have already gone serious with this person, take a breather from your day job and send them an email or a quick text message saying that you are thinking of them. Communicate well. It might sound like so much of an effort to you, but really, it’s worth it.

4. Start a life outside work. If work eats up most of you, then they must have eaten the best of you already. Avoid this by starting to have a life outside work. Pick a hobby that you’d be glad to improve and invest (not spend) a lot of time working on it. Also, try to broaden your horizons by having fun activities with people who are not from your office. It will really take your mind off work because you will talk about, laugh about and even argue (in a friendly way) about different things. So when you’re out in the dating market, you are not that boring old folk who is always talking about work and people from work. Yes, no matter how funny they are. Besides, getting out of the office is, by common sense, the best way to meet NEW people. That is, if you’re still single, okay?

Okay now workaholics, those busy excuses are all disqualified now. Enjoy dating and cherishing one very good investment—a long lasting relationship.

On the same breath, please do not use dating as an excuse to slack off at work. Haha!

Let me know what you think, workaholics. Email me if you’re not working (or dating). Live_out_loud@ymail.com.

No TGIFs Anymore

Is it T.G.I.F. too soon? If you haven’t heard about T.G.I.F., it means “Thank God It’s Friday” and it has been used in the American corporate lingo for a long time in the intention of mocking a boring and seemingly meaningless job. Today, we are lucky that more and more workplaces have dedicated their time in efforts for positive psychology in terms of jobs and profession. Basic human resource management would tell you that the higher the person feels his morale is, the better he will be in doing his job. As I write, more and more offices are being renovated and rebuilt to induce a juicier and a more fun workplace, so work doesn’t feel like work at all.

Together, we move forward into a society of people who truly love and enjoy what they do and at the end of the day, institutions accomplish their goals and we build a whole new culture of fulfillment.

In the field of Positive Psychology, work may be categorized into three groups: jobs, careers and callings. The first category is the “jobs”. These are the things which we spend a lot of time and effort on but our only motivation towards doing the work is merely salary. There is no passion; everything feels like manual labor. No work, no pay; and no pay, no work.
On the other hand, careers are the kinds of jobs with a mixed reward system: salary + advancement. In careers, there are goals to be met and there is the promise of prestige through dedication. People who dedicate themselves to careers often get promoted and with the same amount of devotion, they will eventually get to the top.

However, once they are already at the top, they won’t feel the same vigor and challenge anymore and the career will subsequently wither and turn into a (sigh) job.
The last category is the “callings”. As the name implies, it is a calling, a purpose which pulls you towards fulfilling its reason. The rewards are more internal and they provide meaning in our lives. Most callings require special talents or characteristics, like the ones involved in arts and literature. They motivate the individual through sheer being and you, as a worker, will feel like you can do the work without pay, promotion or other forms of compensation. Callings are the dream jobs.

When you find satisfaction in your job, you can easily turn it into a calling by finding the meaning in it and commending yourself for every successful task that you accomplish. Try to see what makes your work special and how you can also motivate other people to do better in what they do, or choose to do what you do. What is inside you, that you can relate to the work, that you consider a gift? You can easily see the difference between jobs and callings. For example, teachers who treat teaching as a job will be moody, inconsiderate and will talk to the students only about lessons and anything school related. But a teacher who considers teaching as a calling will give extra effort when making reports, have a special way to deliver lessons in class, and will treat every student like it’s his or her own child.

If you put some cheer and genuine dedication in the work that you’re doing, you will end up being a more productive worker and not long, you will receive recognition. Everything will look more vibrant when you go to work in the morning and the intrinsic motivation will continue to develop.

So if you’re already in a job that you’re happy about, kudos to you and continue to pour devotion into that job. Not everybody has their dream job under their noses. But then again, it’s always ALWAYS a matter of choice.

Lemme know what you think--- live_out_loud@ymail.com.

What do I Love? MERCO'S MELON BASKET!

So my date and I went to Merco to get our lunch last Saturday and then we were craving for a great dessert treat so we picked out Melon Basket. It was such a heavenly delight!

Merco's Melon Basket was made of a watermelon cut in half, with zigzagged edges, filled with cubed watermelons, sliced bananas, three ice cream scoops (you may choose from vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, mango and ube) and topped with whipped cream. It was truly a wondrous treat because the watermelon was so sweet!

This is not the first time that I ordered Melon Basket and it's charming to find ground peanuts at the top of the scooped ice cream sometimes. It was a choir of colors and an orchestra of sweet sensations. I salivate just thinking about it! :)

So anyway, if you decide to swing by any Merco branch soon, you may order their Melon Basket at the affordable price of P130 only. Enjoy! And don't forget to drink lots of water...or you'll end up swallowing painfully. Tsktsk.

It's The Climb: Of Social Climbing and Social Climbers

According to an entry in a famous online dictionary, a social climber is someone who “seeks advancement to a higher social class, especially by obsequious behavior”.
Social climbing is such a crime to mankind; and I cannot imagine of a more miserable existence than that of the social climbers. So while you are worrying about which projects you’re going to do first the next day, or whether your husband from overseas is really going to call, somebody not far away is thinking of what to wear tomorrow just so s/he can impress the people around him/her.

Everything, really, about social climbing, boils down to one thing: acceptance. People climb the climb because they want to be accepted. They are not contented of what they have or who they really are and they aspire for something that they view as higher forms of beings than themselves (richer ones, smarter ones, more popular ones). Some can be as mild as stretching stories and some can be as severe as committing crimes like stealing and deception.

Although it’s sad that some people can really have these forms of existence(s), we really cannot change the way some people view the world. For me, I am contented of what I have and who I am. If there’s something I want to achieve, I work hard for it and I don’t take credit for what I did. If I know someone who is exactly like me in terms of financial, intellectual and physical capacity BUT sees the world in a different way (“there is always someone better, I have to be like that”) then life is nothing but and endless climb.
The truth is, what led me to writing this article is that I recently became acquainted with certain people who went through lengths just to keep up with the crowd. One person stole from the company he’s working at, another went from rich lover to a richer lover, in search for the best shoe/bag/make up/allowance provider, and another simply told lies about his affiliations. Sad. Sad. Sad.
So I wore a keener eye on such people and found that they may be classified into three different categories:

The Exaggerator

These are the kinds of social climbers who may or may not earn big or know people of impressive affiliation; it’s just that they are fond of stretching stories. For example, she adds another P5,000 to her monthly income, says she went to a more expensive salon after you compliment her hair rebonding or perhaps says that s/he got this designer something at full price when in fact, it’s just a bargain from the internet or from ukay-ukay. They exaggerate everything and they get their fix from the wonder that you innocently show in your eyes once another story impresses you. If you spot these people ASAP, it’s easy to please them. Just act like you’re impressed. They feed with your wide-eyed wonder for the rest of the day.

I Know Who

Now these kinds of social climbers are not like the ones who are fond of shiny things and good looking assets. They are the ones who claim to know key people in a certain industry. For example, in the local writing scene, some writers claim that they personally know Ms. Editor in Chief and Mr. Hotshot Novelist even if the closest that they got to them was through a seminar and they barely even spoke. They act like they’re also part of the crowd-to-beat in a certain industry. They spend their mornings trying to impress people with the other people that they know and they spend their nights scouring Facebook for the next famous person to add.

See My Tag

These kinds of social climbers are filled with nothing but brands and tags. They get their fix from owning things which are beautiful and up-to-date. I know certain people who own really good looking cellular phones but then again they always ask me to text somebody for them. There are other people who even have plasma TVs in their living room sets but then they are not sure where they’d get the next tuition fee of bunso. Tsk tsk tsk. This is social climbing that is anchored on materialism and people from this category may not really need your impression, they just wanted something shiny under their noses.

So that’s it for social climbing today. I hope that all the social climbers out there will find something better and more worthwhile to do. (What are the chances that they might be reading this article?)

And, on a different note, I recommend the book “Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber” by Adele Lang. I just remembered reading it months ago and it was one hell of a fun ride.

Email me your thoughts about social climbing—live_out_loud@ymail.com. Or you can follow me via www.bitchvarsity.blogspot.com

What Women Do Better Than Men

Disclaimer: I am an advocate for gender equality. Enough said.

1. Evolve. There are studies which are concerned with evolution and how we look which proved that, indeed, women evolve to be hotter. Researchers have noticed that the more attractive women deliver more children (16% more) than the less attractive ones and there more female children for these women. When these good looking girls grow up, they will also have more female children and this is a pattern we really can’t help.

2. Survive. In a study about car accidents, there is a 77% more likelihood for men to die than women. (Is this the reason why we always nag men about wearing the seatbelt?) Moreover, more women survive suicide attempts and more women also got to keep their jobs when the recession recently hit the world. The less affected industries were those which are female-dominated, like healthcare and education.

3. Live. Yeah boy, we don’t just survive, but we actually live longer. A whopping 85% of people who are more than 100 years old are women.

4. Graduate. Yes, we actually go through education until college and are more likely to finish it than men. In fact, even enrolment says that women top men in the education arena. Also, there are more men which stagnate in college. Bah!

5. Eat. A recent study conducted by the University of Minnesota just reveled that women eat healthier than men. While men usually think that red meat, beer and pizza will pump their malehood, women were eating fruits and vegetables to keep thin. Also, our only known guilty pleasure is eating chocolates, which are still healthy, by the way. Maybe this is also the reason why women have stronger immune systems, aside from our secret weapon which is estrogen. (BTW, Estrogen contributes to the strength of our bodies’ frontline defense against viruses and bacteria.)

6. Lead. Another psychological study revealed that women make better leaders because we are multitaskers, better mentors, great listeners and problem solvers. Is it the “mother instinct”? I have no idea. But we keep the income statements stellar! Which leads me to…

7. Invest. With over 100,000 portfolios studied, the investment returns that women get are higher than men’s by up to 18%. Perhaps this is because women are better decision makers…or the fashion, make up and wellness industries have just gotten bigger. (I don’t really mind!)

Violent reactions, anyone? Email me @ live_out_loud@ymail.com. If you’re lucky, I won’t rebut you because I’m busy doing all the things that I do better than men.

A Beauty Dilemma (beautiful nails vs. work efficiency)

If I cut my nails to a length that doesn't make the actual nails surpass where my fingers end, I find typing so easy and my normal typing speed is about 70 words per minute. However, lately, I'm loving how beautiful my nails look in sheer pink glittery polish, with a length that surpasses where my fingers end. So my work efficiency tilts a little. (I'm a full time writer, BTW.)

Also, with long nails, I get tired typing easily. *sigh

At the expense of work efficiency, I have more beautiful-looking hands and even if I work slower now, whenever I look at how good my hands look (and yes, my significant other noticed), I tell myself that it's worth it.

Oh well. Il faut souffrir pour etre belle. One must suffer to be beautiful.

Trading Up

I just met with a former classmate and a really good friend and we had lunch. Over a sumptuous dish of rotisserie chicken, java rice and pasta, we talked about our college life and we dreamt of the things that we will buy come payday. We have both gone far from what we were during college—more expensive clothes, dining in restaurants rather than fastfood chains, and we ALWAYS had prepaid cellphone load. We’ve covered quite a distance, eh?

Then she asked me if I have access to this gadget. It was one of Apple iPod’s latest babies, and I swear, we wouldn’t afford it had we been in college still. However, we talked about it like it was easily acquirable, and true enough, its price didn’t daunt us anymore. After we dined at a nice pizza place, we went out for donuts at a posh place downtown.

Then we continued talking about the latest cell phones, the latest shoe designs, the latest sale, who dates the latest cutie, etc. It was all about updating, upgrading and trading up. (Whatever you call it.) This made me realize that approaching technology, and life in general, nowadays is like riding a roller coaster or a race car without putting your seatbelt on. It can truly carry you in its powerful current and you have to be really strong to resist it.

When we were still in college, we didn’t mind about what the latest gadget was or even what the newest facial treatment was. Today, as we journey the professional life, somehow we are pressured to always step up, as if we are proving ourselves to ANOTHER imaginary boss, whom we need to impress all the time.

Then I realized that this culture wasn’t just with us. This culture was also common to a lot of newly graduated young adults, and reunions were more than just “simple get togethers”, it is an ego parade, and a catching up on who raises his/ her eyebrow the highest. Perhaps this is partly because of man’s cannot-be-contented character, plus the shock that we get from earning money which we can spend entirely to ourselves. This money shock is pretty alarming, because a lot of young people are not even capable of proper financial management. We can still be lured by the shiny things..even if we don’t need them.

Today, we are already upgraded versions of ourselves. And no matter how much I loathe the “always upgrading” lifestyle, I guess that there is still a good side in trading up. Along the way, we cannot deny that we eventually pick up lessons (especially about money) from here and there, and we will end up, well, traded up. Advanced. Upgraded.
Tell me what you think---live_out_loud@ymail.com.

What Kids Do During Holy Week

For most of the kids, Holy Week is just another dragger. You know, malls and bars are closed, roads are quiet and if you don’t have any other hobby that doesn’t involve cable TV or Internet, you’d probably be better of sleeping. Hours creep slower and this Holy Week, the warm weather are challenging the shortest of tempers.

See, when you’re young, you always view holiday differently. Yes, no matter what kind of holidays they are. And holidays put one over the other mean just one thing---a break. Whether it’s a good break or not, I’ve come up with a few things noticed about how kids cope with bore-fest.

DVD Marathons

In your Friendster or Facebook profile, you don’t really need to say that you love watching movies or TV series. Because seriously, everybody loves watching movies and TV series. It’s just that, the kinds of movies and TV series that we prefer are different. When we’ve got a lot of time on our hands, that’s the time when we start watching ALL the movies we could have watched but missed due to midterm papers, dentist appointments or on-the-spot drinking sessions. Why do we do this? The truth is, we do this so we can have more things to talk about with our friends when the Holy Week is almost over. Hehe.


Book Marathon

Just the printed version of the DVD marathon. Refer to the intentions above.

Beach Hopping

Okay, maybe not really beach hopping but beach bumming. Living in a tropical paradise has its perks after all. When “going out of town” just means a 10 minute boat ride to the neighboring island with fabulous beaches, going out of town gets pretty tempting when placed before a string of work-free days. Besides, beaches always have their own way of being unconditionally loved by most teenagers. Like chicken gravy.

Some Cleansing

Supposedly, the Holy Week is designed for some soul cleansing, conscience knocking and meat avoidance. For teenagers this is also a good time to do some cleansing, electronic or otherwise. For one, I used up some of my time clearing up my e-mail inboxes and some online photo albums. It also is a good time to do some reflection on my schedule. Juggling 3 jobs and my lifestyle costing more than how it used to, I needed to seriously get my act together. So what I did was come up with a list of things I needed to do when the Holy Week bids goodbye and a written promise that I’m going to finish those duties. (Fingers crossed.)

The Holy Week has no plans of leaving yet, so if you’ve got more activities for me, as long as they’re legal and within the 8000 zip code, I might be game for it.

Seriously, Singlehood Rocks!

Recently, the single bug bit me…hard. I’ve read a number of write-ups and blog entries which feature people who rant about their being single, how “time is running out” and how finding “The One” gets harder and harder each day.

I have a problem with this mindset. See, society (plus media) have always led us to believe that we are part of a “whole” and to be “whole” is to find one’s “significant other” (also commonly referred to as “the other half”). This assumes that we are born lacking something, and everything we do must be geared towards finding that something which we lack.

The thing is, one is born complete. We are not in a search for The One but we are The One. We are a pixel in this world and we have individual missions, passions and contributions. If you are in a romantic relationship now and still achieve the same fullness, Kudos.

One reason for the pressure in finding “The One” is how we understand the word “single”. Oftentimes, we connect the word single with being solitary, lonely and simply alone. In fact, the term “matandang dalaga” can be a valid societal insult because of its connotations (that perhaps, that person is so unlovable, unattractive or not rich enough). It’s hard but, we have to take a 180-degree turn. To be single or being in a relationship doesn’t really mean anything…unless you experience growth in it.

I remember Samantha Jones from Sex and the City throwing an I-don’t-have-a-baby shower and Carrie Bradshaw giving herself a pair of good-looking shoes because she is celebrating a marriage to herself. That she will cherish herself and take care of herself as much as she would to a lover. Sure, let’s do that.

So a Spouse Hunt is not really necessary.

However, this Spouse Hunt has poisoned a lot of youth’s minds today! Networking sites are getting bigger and bigger, dating columns have gotten longer, tips on how to “catch his eye, “snag the perfect guy” and “keep the fire burning” are constant bestsellers. Bah. Makes the Spouse Hunt a full time job! And what’s more annoying is that society also has dictated gender assignments. Woman should wait for the man to make his move, woman should keep the man in the relationship and understand when he cheats because “boys will be boys”. Etcetera, etcetera.
Let’s take a breather and step back from the poison of society’s impositions.

Truth is, after break-ups, people realize how much they’ve missed when they were in a relationship. Conversely, when they WERE in the relationship, they didn’t think they were missing a lot because they were having the best time of their lives. Singlehood brings you back to where you want to be, where you intended to be and what you have worked for all your life. Singlehood is insulated from the complications of hormonal floods, provides spaces for self-assessment and “catching up” with friends and family.

Dearest, rest your heart for a while and enjoy your life. Lover or no lover, you are The One. Tell me about you. Who’s in a hurry?