How to Throw a Kick Ass Party in 48 Hours or Less

(Now, how about that for an article title?)


The holidays are just coming around the corner and they have no plans of slowing down! It’s deck the malls today, and you just can’t wait to go to all the parties which have been bleeding red on your planner! However, you won’t always be the visitor all the time. Sometimes, you also have to throw your own party—whether it’s by peer pressure or sheer gratitude—and boy, it ain’t that easy.

However, with everything that’s instant today, you can make do with a fabulous holiday party with a few quick and easy tips. Read on.

1. Set the mood. When people enter your place, or even as early as they are looking for a parking space in front of your home, they should already feel the Christmas spirit or the festivity brewing around the area. If you don’t have time to clean up the place, at least de-clutter. Fill the place with cheap (or not!) decoration and brighten up the place.

2. Spend a little time on making a playlist of upbeat and contemporary Christmas songs and when the party mellows down, switch to some piano and/or acoustic melodies. Working on this playlist will just take an hour tops. With fast internet today, all those downloading would be done in a jiffy.

3. Fake home cooking. A big chunk of what really makes a party cozy is the food. The truth is, you can make do with good old lechon manok (rotisserie chicken) and just put it in a nice looking plate. To make it look extra special, try to steam vegetables or put fried potatoes on the side. There’s also powdered gravy sold in the market. You can place that on the side for that extra gourmet feel. Sometimes the plate makes all the difference. Imagine takeout chopsuey, pansit and baby back ribs in a very regal looking plate. Imagine grilled meat on a banana leaf. Now THAT’s what I’m talking about.

4. For posh cocktails, don’t serve chips but instead, prepare cheese, little sandwiches, salami or even buttered French bread. Carrots, lettuce and cucumber also makes for a great salad, the “healthier” cocktail.

5. Serve champagne/ wine. Isn’t it good that you can purchase them now from convenience stores? They promise a lovely time and some space for great conversations in between. Unlike beer. But if the boys complain, then simply order beer from the sari-sari store at the corner! No sweat!

With these quick and easy throw-a-party tips, you won’t be left wondering what to do to make your party fabulous and memorable while on a very tight time schedule. Just remember that days before the party, you should organize your calendar well.

And don’t forget to take pictures! :) Email me other posh ideas at live_out_loud@ymail.com.

The New Zabadani Coffee Shop

I’ve been a long time visitor of Zabadani Coffee Shop when it was still a quaint little coffee shop in Rizal. I used to meet up with a lot of people there--people from the art circle (digital artists, film makers, photographers, writers, etc.), old friends, new friends, work mates-- and we end up spending a lot of time there not only because the place has such a unique interior design, but because the layered coffee is undoubtedly the best in town and the prices are great for “budgetarians”.

Back in Rizal, it was just a little place, with geographical descriptions of “just a door” when people new to it try to locate it. True enough, it sat beside Whaw Lechon House on Rizal st. and yes, it was just a door. This is because back then, Zabadani was located at the second floor of the block’s big structure and you can only access it through one front door. Then you ascend a small flight of staircase, and with the first tread, you will smell the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Instantly, you will know that you have come to the right place.

Aside from their wonderful reputation for really yummy treats, Zabadani also doubles as an internet café. They have computer units where you can surf the net for only P10 an hour. Personally, I liked going there to surf because the monitors were nice and the keyboards were soft. (How shallow.)

But of course, I loved the net surfing way later. Here’s the real kicker:

Zabadani coffee shop boasts of their extensive menu of layered coffee blends, tea varities and even flavored soda. If you’re in for a caffeine fix, some relaxing warmth or some sparkling sweetness, Zabadani is truly the place to go. Kuya Wadi (as he is fondly called), Zabadani’s owner, is a friend to many Zabadani patrons and he won’t let you down the beverages without something to munch on. Zabadani also offers chocolate and oatmeal cookies, a choco-mousse cake, blueberry cheesecake and their famous Bruschetta.

One very remarkable thing about Zabadani coffee shop that doesn’t involve your gastronomical affairs is that the place itself is very homey. There are lush carpets on the floor where you can sit and/ or lie down, soft lighting by the Moroccan lanterns and a mini library of (mostly) Islamic literature.

Today, the new Zabadani coffee shop stands at the heart of the city, at Ponciano Reyes st. Davao city. It is almost thrice the size of the old Zabadani, and its menu seemed to expand as large as the space! As I write, the newer PC units are coming in, more people enjoyed the large large carpeted platforms and there are more lanterns lighting up the place and giving my face a fake glow. Haha!

Now I will surely spend more time at the new Zabadani coffee shop. Just one year down and Zabadani’s thrice in size. I wonder what’s coming in for the next year. Hmm, I’d have more time to ponder on that. For now, let me finish this heavenly Mocacchino first.

What is Organic Skin Care?

A lot of us read the word “organic” in a lot of sources. We find it in the vegetable section of the grocery. We find it even in food packets. We also find it in the labels of the beauty products that we already use and the ones which we are considering of using, because of the “organic” claim.

However, do we really know what organic means? How does it make our skin care regimen a better one? What IS organic skin care?

First, to understand what “organic skin care” is, we’d have to get to know the word organic first. (As “skin care” is easier to understand.) Organic means, according to the Oxford dictionary, the “prodcuced and involving production without use of pesticides, artificial fertilizers or any form of synthetic chemicals”. With that definition, would it be possible to day that all the products which were labeled “organic” really hold that characteristic? I don’t think so.

A lot of marketing people in the skin care department simply use the word “organic” as a come-on for their products. Instantly, when you see the organic label, you sort of trust the product a little bit to do wonders for you. Also, another way of confusing consumers is by labeling their products as having “organic ingredients”. Then they will site a natural ingredient in its purest form. For example, olive oil or coconut oil. They may be organic but remember, there are other chemicals in that beauty product. And that is far from “organic”, mind you.

Organic skin care refers to a beauty regimen which uses only organic products for the pursuit of a healthier skin or the maintenance of healthy skin. For example, the usage of pure honey for your hands’ moisturizing and sugar for exfoliation. Both of these examples only use products which are natural and/ organic. They are safe and they are healthier since it’s nature’s powers working through your skin.

Also, if you want to buy developed beauty products which are preferably organic, simply look for the “certified organic” label along with the seal of a reputable drug association. Most likely, that product is really a certified organic product and it is safe to say that if you use that, you are religiously following an organic skin care routine. Remember, without the label which says “certified organic” whatever that’s labeled organic may be deemed simply meaningless.

Dating for Workaholics

I know a lot of people in different industries who seem to have just little time for recreation, let alone dating. Also, “I’m busy” holds to be a very good excuse for someone who hasn’t done much dating lately. Well, let those days be gone! Here is a quick guide for dating workaholics, or dating when you’re a workaholic.

1. Are you really a workaholic? The first step is to determine if you’re really a workaholic. Psychological studies show that all the “-holic” tendencies (shopaholic, alcoholic, chocoholic, etc.) means a compensation for something else. So if you are a workaholic you’d have to admit it to yourself. Do you ALWAYS work the extra hours? Do you have a job (a department, a boss and a company) which demands excessively from you? Are you struggling to get promoted, or get a “regular” status? Try to track if there’s something wrong in your chosen career and try to lessen it or kill it. If you can’t then work with it and make sure it’s not long term.

2. Prioritize well. If somebody puts you off because they’re “too busy” then it means that they are working on other things but not on you because YOU ARE NOT A PRIORITY. Yes, that’s the cold hard truth guys. BUT if you use the busy excuse to put off dates, well, you might have an issue with yourself. Maybe you’re not really ready to date and you just need a quick way out. Also, if you have more than one date lined up for the week/ month, try to prioritize which are the ones which are more important. If you are with just one partner, remember the more important dates and determine which the best dates are for your partner to enjoy them the most.

3. Pay attention when you are on the date. Put off your Blackberries and your laptops. Hey, if you really wanna land with a partner, you better pay attention to the potential ones. Dates are the perfect times to balance your work and your personal life. When your date is talking, listen to them. Observe. Affirm. Get to know them truly. Do not half-listen while running in your mind the next-day tasks. Switch off work mode and immerse yourself in the moment. Also, try not to talk about work with your date. It’s nice to share funny and charming anecdotes but no complaining/ nagging please. If you think that you have found someone to go serious with, or have already gone serious with this person, take a breather from your day job and send them an email or a quick text message saying that you are thinking of them. Communicate well. It might sound like so much of an effort to you, but really, it’s worth it.

4. Start a life outside work. If work eats up most of you, then they must have eaten the best of you already. Avoid this by starting to have a life outside work. Pick a hobby that you’d be glad to improve and invest (not spend) a lot of time working on it. Also, try to broaden your horizons by having fun activities with people who are not from your office. It will really take your mind off work because you will talk about, laugh about and even argue (in a friendly way) about different things. So when you’re out in the dating market, you are not that boring old folk who is always talking about work and people from work. Yes, no matter how funny they are. Besides, getting out of the office is, by common sense, the best way to meet NEW people. That is, if you’re still single, okay?

Okay now workaholics, those busy excuses are all disqualified now. Enjoy dating and cherishing one very good investment—a long lasting relationship.

On the same breath, please do not use dating as an excuse to slack off at work. Haha!

Let me know what you think, workaholics. Email me if you’re not working (or dating). Live_out_loud@ymail.com.

No TGIFs Anymore

Is it T.G.I.F. too soon? If you haven’t heard about T.G.I.F., it means “Thank God It’s Friday” and it has been used in the American corporate lingo for a long time in the intention of mocking a boring and seemingly meaningless job. Today, we are lucky that more and more workplaces have dedicated their time in efforts for positive psychology in terms of jobs and profession. Basic human resource management would tell you that the higher the person feels his morale is, the better he will be in doing his job. As I write, more and more offices are being renovated and rebuilt to induce a juicier and a more fun workplace, so work doesn’t feel like work at all.

Together, we move forward into a society of people who truly love and enjoy what they do and at the end of the day, institutions accomplish their goals and we build a whole new culture of fulfillment.

In the field of Positive Psychology, work may be categorized into three groups: jobs, careers and callings. The first category is the “jobs”. These are the things which we spend a lot of time and effort on but our only motivation towards doing the work is merely salary. There is no passion; everything feels like manual labor. No work, no pay; and no pay, no work.
On the other hand, careers are the kinds of jobs with a mixed reward system: salary + advancement. In careers, there are goals to be met and there is the promise of prestige through dedication. People who dedicate themselves to careers often get promoted and with the same amount of devotion, they will eventually get to the top.

However, once they are already at the top, they won’t feel the same vigor and challenge anymore and the career will subsequently wither and turn into a (sigh) job.
The last category is the “callings”. As the name implies, it is a calling, a purpose which pulls you towards fulfilling its reason. The rewards are more internal and they provide meaning in our lives. Most callings require special talents or characteristics, like the ones involved in arts and literature. They motivate the individual through sheer being and you, as a worker, will feel like you can do the work without pay, promotion or other forms of compensation. Callings are the dream jobs.

When you find satisfaction in your job, you can easily turn it into a calling by finding the meaning in it and commending yourself for every successful task that you accomplish. Try to see what makes your work special and how you can also motivate other people to do better in what they do, or choose to do what you do. What is inside you, that you can relate to the work, that you consider a gift? You can easily see the difference between jobs and callings. For example, teachers who treat teaching as a job will be moody, inconsiderate and will talk to the students only about lessons and anything school related. But a teacher who considers teaching as a calling will give extra effort when making reports, have a special way to deliver lessons in class, and will treat every student like it’s his or her own child.

If you put some cheer and genuine dedication in the work that you’re doing, you will end up being a more productive worker and not long, you will receive recognition. Everything will look more vibrant when you go to work in the morning and the intrinsic motivation will continue to develop.

So if you’re already in a job that you’re happy about, kudos to you and continue to pour devotion into that job. Not everybody has their dream job under their noses. But then again, it’s always ALWAYS a matter of choice.

Lemme know what you think--- live_out_loud@ymail.com.

What do I Love? MERCO'S MELON BASKET!

So my date and I went to Merco to get our lunch last Saturday and then we were craving for a great dessert treat so we picked out Melon Basket. It was such a heavenly delight!

Merco's Melon Basket was made of a watermelon cut in half, with zigzagged edges, filled with cubed watermelons, sliced bananas, three ice cream scoops (you may choose from vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, mango and ube) and topped with whipped cream. It was truly a wondrous treat because the watermelon was so sweet!

This is not the first time that I ordered Melon Basket and it's charming to find ground peanuts at the top of the scooped ice cream sometimes. It was a choir of colors and an orchestra of sweet sensations. I salivate just thinking about it! :)

So anyway, if you decide to swing by any Merco branch soon, you may order their Melon Basket at the affordable price of P130 only. Enjoy! And don't forget to drink lots of water...or you'll end up swallowing painfully. Tsktsk.

It's The Climb: Of Social Climbing and Social Climbers

According to an entry in a famous online dictionary, a social climber is someone who “seeks advancement to a higher social class, especially by obsequious behavior”.
Social climbing is such a crime to mankind; and I cannot imagine of a more miserable existence than that of the social climbers. So while you are worrying about which projects you’re going to do first the next day, or whether your husband from overseas is really going to call, somebody not far away is thinking of what to wear tomorrow just so s/he can impress the people around him/her.

Everything, really, about social climbing, boils down to one thing: acceptance. People climb the climb because they want to be accepted. They are not contented of what they have or who they really are and they aspire for something that they view as higher forms of beings than themselves (richer ones, smarter ones, more popular ones). Some can be as mild as stretching stories and some can be as severe as committing crimes like stealing and deception.

Although it’s sad that some people can really have these forms of existence(s), we really cannot change the way some people view the world. For me, I am contented of what I have and who I am. If there’s something I want to achieve, I work hard for it and I don’t take credit for what I did. If I know someone who is exactly like me in terms of financial, intellectual and physical capacity BUT sees the world in a different way (“there is always someone better, I have to be like that”) then life is nothing but and endless climb.
The truth is, what led me to writing this article is that I recently became acquainted with certain people who went through lengths just to keep up with the crowd. One person stole from the company he’s working at, another went from rich lover to a richer lover, in search for the best shoe/bag/make up/allowance provider, and another simply told lies about his affiliations. Sad. Sad. Sad.
So I wore a keener eye on such people and found that they may be classified into three different categories:

The Exaggerator

These are the kinds of social climbers who may or may not earn big or know people of impressive affiliation; it’s just that they are fond of stretching stories. For example, she adds another P5,000 to her monthly income, says she went to a more expensive salon after you compliment her hair rebonding or perhaps says that s/he got this designer something at full price when in fact, it’s just a bargain from the internet or from ukay-ukay. They exaggerate everything and they get their fix from the wonder that you innocently show in your eyes once another story impresses you. If you spot these people ASAP, it’s easy to please them. Just act like you’re impressed. They feed with your wide-eyed wonder for the rest of the day.

I Know Who

Now these kinds of social climbers are not like the ones who are fond of shiny things and good looking assets. They are the ones who claim to know key people in a certain industry. For example, in the local writing scene, some writers claim that they personally know Ms. Editor in Chief and Mr. Hotshot Novelist even if the closest that they got to them was through a seminar and they barely even spoke. They act like they’re also part of the crowd-to-beat in a certain industry. They spend their mornings trying to impress people with the other people that they know and they spend their nights scouring Facebook for the next famous person to add.

See My Tag

These kinds of social climbers are filled with nothing but brands and tags. They get their fix from owning things which are beautiful and up-to-date. I know certain people who own really good looking cellular phones but then again they always ask me to text somebody for them. There are other people who even have plasma TVs in their living room sets but then they are not sure where they’d get the next tuition fee of bunso. Tsk tsk tsk. This is social climbing that is anchored on materialism and people from this category may not really need your impression, they just wanted something shiny under their noses.

So that’s it for social climbing today. I hope that all the social climbers out there will find something better and more worthwhile to do. (What are the chances that they might be reading this article?)

And, on a different note, I recommend the book “Confessions of a Sociopathic Social Climber” by Adele Lang. I just remembered reading it months ago and it was one hell of a fun ride.

Email me your thoughts about social climbing—live_out_loud@ymail.com. Or you can follow me via www.bitchvarsity.blogspot.com

Bitch Tip # 6: Exfoliate Your Lips

As long as something is classified as skin, it will eventually shed off because skin renews every 30 days. (Approximately, the epidermis is composed of 30 superposed cell layers.) This means that a new batch of cells are produced by your basal layer each day and the entire epidermis is REMOVED after 30 days. Like your scalp, your lips are considered "skin" too that is why you need to exfoliate it to keep it looking vibrant.

When you are about to end brushing your teeth, lightly brush your lips to get rid of the dead skin cells. Do this at least once a day and you will have smooth, exfoliated lips all the time! Also, finish off with a great lip moisturizer/ balm like Chapstick, Body shop, Blistex or Burt's Bees.

Now when you wear your rock shiny lip gloss your lips will surely look oomph-mazing! :)



♥
bitch varsity captain

Sailor Mercury for a Night!

So I attended a cosplay last night and boy, it was super fun!

I portrayed Sailor Mercury because our hair style is similar and incidentally, from 15 years back, I really adored her and gave her the status similar to angels and saints. I had stationery filled with Sailor Mercury, a Sailor Mercury body bag, Sailor Mercury bed sheets and I always cheered for Sailor Mercury during Sailor Soldier fights. Whew! :)

I realized that cosplay can be such a stress-reliever. Our cosplay was a company party, and since I work for a graphics design company, we had to be really visually appealing. So cosplay it is!

I posted my pictures in Facebook and a lot of my friends complimented me in my costume. I'm actually thinking of REALLY investing in a slammin' costume. So, what do you think? Sailor Mercury or no Sailor Mercury?

Chun Li is also a very strong runner-up. Lemme know what you think.

♥
bitch varsity captain

On Switching Careers

As far as I can remember, I really wanted to become a writer. Now that I am a full-time writer, I must say I’m happily settled and I don’t want to veer away from this industry again. Oh, did I say again? Yes, I did. The thing is, when I was in high school and college, I was still writing on the side but then I pursued different interests. In fact, I took up Marketing in college because I actually thought that the world of marketing, advertising and public relations is for me.

Right after I graduated, I had two jobs, one for the government and one for a Montessori school. Both needed my business course background but then it took me a long time before I decided to switch careers and become a full time writer.

It wasn’t that pay was bad, it’s just that when I was working for my two previous non-writing jobs, somehow a part of me was missing, and so even when I had a great office, a great uniform and great people around me, I kept on looking at the local classified ads.

After my gig at the Montessori school as an Executive Assistant, I tried looking for different jobs. I lurked around hotel management, VISA processing, merchandising, etc. just so I can find my “happy place”. But then I cut the chase and decided to write full-time. I was a freelancer for about a month and then I made up my mind. I’m glad I did, though.

As you can see, it took me a very long time to finally decide where I should settle. Here are some things which I treated as a career-switching checklist when I decided to switch careers.

The 8-Year Test

Picture yourself eight years from now. Do you see yourself still happily settled in the job that you have now or in the career that you have in mind? Again, the key phrase here is “long term”. If you want to switch careers, that means that you want to forego something in light of another, so it better be worth it, right? Five years is too short, and ten years may be too far off. So eight years it is.

Industry Stability

When the latest worldwide recession hit, most of the jobs which were lost were connected with merchandising and finance. The jobs which weren’t that much affected were the jobs in health care and in education. How recession-proof is your chosen career? Since you will be thinking long-term, assess how sustainable your industry is. The industry I’m in right now (full time) is internet-based. I realized that the internet will only get bigger so I settled here.

Does it Make You Proud?

If your job lets you have a sense of purpose? Do you feel like you “belong” with the people around you? Does your job make you proud? If you answered “yes” to all of these, perhaps it’s really a good choice to switch careers. There’s nothing like having a job which doesn’t feel like a job at all to make you realize the better things in the professional world and in life.

Switching careers is not as easy as it happened for me or as easy as how this article makes it sound like. Decide wisely, weigh your options well and never forget that the key phrase is “long term”.

Got some career-switching stories? Email me at live_out_loud@ymail.com.

What Women Do Better Than Men

Disclaimer: I am an advocate for gender equality. Enough said.

1. Evolve. There are studies which are concerned with evolution and how we look which proved that, indeed, women evolve to be hotter. Researchers have noticed that the more attractive women deliver more children (16% more) than the less attractive ones and there more female children for these women. When these good looking girls grow up, they will also have more female children and this is a pattern we really can’t help.

2. Survive. In a study about car accidents, there is a 77% more likelihood for men to die than women. (Is this the reason why we always nag men about wearing the seatbelt?) Moreover, more women survive suicide attempts and more women also got to keep their jobs when the recession recently hit the world. The less affected industries were those which are female-dominated, like healthcare and education.

3. Live. Yeah boy, we don’t just survive, but we actually live longer. A whopping 85% of people who are more than 100 years old are women.

4. Graduate. Yes, we actually go through education until college and are more likely to finish it than men. In fact, even enrolment says that women top men in the education arena. Also, there are more men which stagnate in college. Bah!

5. Eat. A recent study conducted by the University of Minnesota just reveled that women eat healthier than men. While men usually think that red meat, beer and pizza will pump their malehood, women were eating fruits and vegetables to keep thin. Also, our only known guilty pleasure is eating chocolates, which are still healthy, by the way. Maybe this is also the reason why women have stronger immune systems, aside from our secret weapon which is estrogen. (BTW, Estrogen contributes to the strength of our bodies’ frontline defense against viruses and bacteria.)

6. Lead. Another psychological study revealed that women make better leaders because we are multitaskers, better mentors, great listeners and problem solvers. Is it the “mother instinct”? I have no idea. But we keep the income statements stellar! Which leads me to…

7. Invest. With over 100,000 portfolios studied, the investment returns that women get are higher than men’s by up to 18%. Perhaps this is because women are better decision makers…or the fashion, make up and wellness industries have just gotten bigger. (I don’t really mind!)

Violent reactions, anyone? Email me @ live_out_loud@ymail.com. If you’re lucky, I won’t rebut you because I’m busy doing all the things that I do better than men.

A Beauty Dilemma (beautiful nails vs. work efficiency)

If I cut my nails to a length that doesn't make the actual nails surpass where my fingers end, I find typing so easy and my normal typing speed is about 70 words per minute. However, lately, I'm loving how beautiful my nails look in sheer pink glittery polish, with a length that surpasses where my fingers end. So my work efficiency tilts a little. (I'm a full time writer, BTW.)

Also, with long nails, I get tired typing easily. *sigh

At the expense of work efficiency, I have more beautiful-looking hands and even if I work slower now, whenever I look at how good my hands look (and yes, my significant other noticed), I tell myself that it's worth it.

Oh well. Il faut souffrir pour etre belle. One must suffer to be beautiful.

Trading Up

I just met with a former classmate and a really good friend and we had lunch. Over a sumptuous dish of rotisserie chicken, java rice and pasta, we talked about our college life and we dreamt of the things that we will buy come payday. We have both gone far from what we were during college—more expensive clothes, dining in restaurants rather than fastfood chains, and we ALWAYS had prepaid cellphone load. We’ve covered quite a distance, eh?

Then she asked me if I have access to this gadget. It was one of Apple iPod’s latest babies, and I swear, we wouldn’t afford it had we been in college still. However, we talked about it like it was easily acquirable, and true enough, its price didn’t daunt us anymore. After we dined at a nice pizza place, we went out for donuts at a posh place downtown.

Then we continued talking about the latest cell phones, the latest shoe designs, the latest sale, who dates the latest cutie, etc. It was all about updating, upgrading and trading up. (Whatever you call it.) This made me realize that approaching technology, and life in general, nowadays is like riding a roller coaster or a race car without putting your seatbelt on. It can truly carry you in its powerful current and you have to be really strong to resist it.

When we were still in college, we didn’t mind about what the latest gadget was or even what the newest facial treatment was. Today, as we journey the professional life, somehow we are pressured to always step up, as if we are proving ourselves to ANOTHER imaginary boss, whom we need to impress all the time.

Then I realized that this culture wasn’t just with us. This culture was also common to a lot of newly graduated young adults, and reunions were more than just “simple get togethers”, it is an ego parade, and a catching up on who raises his/ her eyebrow the highest. Perhaps this is partly because of man’s cannot-be-contented character, plus the shock that we get from earning money which we can spend entirely to ourselves. This money shock is pretty alarming, because a lot of young people are not even capable of proper financial management. We can still be lured by the shiny things..even if we don’t need them.

Today, we are already upgraded versions of ourselves. And no matter how much I loathe the “always upgrading” lifestyle, I guess that there is still a good side in trading up. Along the way, we cannot deny that we eventually pick up lessons (especially about money) from here and there, and we will end up, well, traded up. Advanced. Upgraded.
Tell me what you think---live_out_loud@ymail.com.

Woman, How is THE OFFICE Treating You?

I recently overheard a conversation about this girl who was not happy about her job anymore. She holds an above rank-and-file position at company downtown. Well, it wasn’t THAT, actually. But she wanted a raise since she was given extra work and she seriously thinks she deserves it. Because she can’t blatantly tell her boss to give her a raise, she started taking absences from work and she expects the rest of the people in the workplace to get what she’s trying to convey. Surprisingly, her female coworkers got the message but the men from the top floors of the organizational chart accuse her of truancy.

My question: why can’t she just write a sincere and courteous letter about her concern? Are women nowadays too afraid to ask?

This glaring situation made me realize of a lot of things that women, I general, miss out on in the office because they were too afraid to ask.

First, the raise. When we’re working at a company for quite sometime and we believe that we have contributed a lot of the things that the company accomplished, then we sincerely believe we deserve a raise. THAT, or we suddenly are given extra responsibilities and the management seem to treat us like the same. (Evidence: the payroll.) Statistics show that women generally earn less than men because we were too afraid to stand up and ask for it. Less women “compete” for promotion against men, and also, less women DEMAND the salary that they think they deserve. When women don’t get what they deserve, usually, they just suck it in and pray that the next time will be better. When men don’t get what they deserve, they usually talk to their bosses about it and they’re even more cunning when competing for a promotion.

A reputable statistics company in the US also held a study which focused on new employees. They interviewed 1000 men and women for the same position. Every one was asked the same set of questions and each interview ended with “How much salary do you expect to receive in this job?” The ending? The average salary that the men quoted was around 20% higher than the average salary that the women quoted.
The thing is, women may dominate a lot of offices lately, but we’re still too afraid to speak out in the office.

Another interesting fact: more men ask for cash advances than women. Well, I told a friend about this and she just said that maybe it was because men are more pressured to provide, so they ALWAYS have to have money. My take on this is that women always had a shady relationship with money, and that is why women are not encouraged to really talk about money outside the bounds of family.

Men have always been trained to become go-getters and that is why in the office, they rise faster. Women, on the other hand, are being socially rewarded for being cooperating and having an easy-do-deal-with attitude, that is why women are not likely to stir legitimate corporate intrigue.

What do you think about this phenomenon? I’ve only been in the corporate world for months and I can these sad things actually happen. Should the bosses reach out to women more? Are workplaces and organizational charts simply not women-friendly enough? What about other forms of abuse? Like sexual and verbal assault? How long should the women keep mum?

Woman, how is the office treating you? Woman, email me at live_out_loud@ymail.com.

Il Faut Souffrir Pour Etre Belle (One Must Suffer To be Beautiful)

It hurts but I'd like to think it's worth it.- Bitch Varsity

WAYS I HURT MYSELF FOR BEAUTY (AND FASHION)

1. Wearing an embellished hair band which glistens beautifully in the sunlight and keeps the hair off my face...which also presses too hard at the space below my ear. So I had to take it off everytime I'm just working on my office desk.

2. Wearing 3-inch heels. They had to look fabulous, though. Once in a while, I go to the bathroom to massage my feet.

3. Wearing belts to cinch my waist which eventually tighten when I'm full. I just sit straight so it doesn't hurt as much.

4. Waxing (and threading). God, it hurts so damn much. I'm pretty OC about this. It's definitely worth it.

5. Curling my Lashes. Sometimes I tend to pull too hard or press too hard.

10 Ways to Pamper Yourself for P200 or Less

So I was alone this afternoon, and I had money to spare. Actually, I had more than P200 but I wanted to bring home food and ice cream so I kept my "pampering" budget at that. The ending? I didn't really UNDERGO any form of pampering aside from window shopping (because it was absolutely a by-product) but along the way, I thought of ten genius ways to be pampered for P200 or less.

1. Get a foot spa at a cheap salon. I am pretty sure there are foot spas which cost only P200, you can stroll around the AdDU college campus and I'm sure you'll find one. Getting a foot spa means ending up with pretty feet and that's really heartwarming. A foot massage also sounds just as divine.

2. Buy Hershey's kisses and eat them all up by yourself. WARNING: This is pretty embarrassing so I advise you do all the pigging out at home. Well, it's chocolate. And chocolate is a basic human right. YUMYUMYUM.

3. Buy a lip gloss. It is amazing how much power a woman can have anytime of the day, anywhere she goes, when she has the right lip gloss on. Explore the bounds of this power and buy a lip gloss with a shade that compliments your skin tone. I recommend Nivea Caregloss & Shine (a little over P100), the Penshoppe lip gloss palette (P129) and Ever Bilena lip gloss in shade 07 (P75---a steal!)

4. Buy the latest issue of your favorite magazine and read it cover to cover. Magazines are usually filled with words which encourage you to become a better version of yourself in the most important aspects of life (aka 3Bs): beauty, business and booty. I'm a fan of Marie Claire (filled with intelligent reads) and Cosmopolitan (foxy foxy foxy).

5. Watch a feel good movie. Hit the cinemas. I'm sure you'll find one movie there that you seriously wanted to watch, it's just that you have no one to watch it with. Well, why bother, when you can down the whole tub of popcorn all by yourself? LOL. At least you don't have to explain the sticky parts of the plot to someone who's a empty upstairs.

6. Hit the flea market. Well the flea market is a tricky place. You don't really find the things you need there, but you find things that you like, and you end up buying them anyway. Most of these things are just pretty-at-the-moment and after a few days, you will wonder why you bought them in the first place. Sigh. But going to flea markets and knowing your cash can stretch farther is therapy in itself, isn't it?

7. Go to the arcade and play all the games you're dying to play! Just knock yourself out. Personally, I think the arcade is a great stress-reliever. Everything is bright and happy-tuned and it is filled with goodies! Timezone is my home away from home.

8. Go to the gym. The upscale gyms have a one-time fee, which range from P100 to P200. Exercise is good for your body, enough said. Besides, you could use the extra endorphins. Lastly, you might bump into a buffed cutie there, right? *wink

9. Buy flowers. Everytime I think of flowers, I instantly smile. They just radiate a big portion of the world's quota for beauty and therefore they have the power to make anyone smile and feel better with just the sight of them. I ♥ gerbera, long stemmed deep red roses, two-toned mums and orchids. Mixed flowers bouquets are love!

10. Have a street food buffet! Eat the streets out! LOL! For once, neglect the oil, salt, grease and even smoke! Street food is cheap and yummy! Come on, don't be a killjoy. With P200, you can even treat your whole barkada to a kwek-kwek fest! :)


Now that I think about it, perhaps the reason why I ended up doing NOTHING among these ten is that I simply couldn't decide. :p So have you? Hit me back for other stellar ideas! ♥

What do I love? LEGGINGS! ♥

LEGGINGS, I have neglected you for so long. I hope you find it in your (sheer) hearts to forgive me.

My my my! Leggings have been in the racks for a VERY VERY VERY long time and it took me so much time to realize that they, in fact, look very good on a skinny body! I KNOW RIGHT?! So sue me.

I used to pride myself for having well-shaped legs due to years of dancing and table tennis so I love wearing shorts of all kinds. And those tight low rise jeans, THEY'RE MY TRUE LOVE. Although I'd love an additional inch or two for my legs, I was very proud of them. But I guess I spent too much time and money on all the other more "solid" bottoms and never paid attention to leggings..until now.

I only own two pairs of leggings, black and brown, and I use them for "cover up" when I'm wearing a long blouse. They kind of doubled as stockings. I used to think they were very tacky. I only wore them to show off my trench-like dresses but I never knew they'd look very good on me until one day I experimented and wore leggings with a cute short dress, flats, and a trendy bag. I looked divine. (Sorry, no pics. :p After all, this is an apology letter for leggings and not a camwhoring with an excuse.)

Come to think of it, leggings actually go well with skirts, shorts, short dresses, frilly tops, coats and so much more! Of course you already know that. Forgive the gushing. Ijustcan'thelpit!

So anyway, it might be a little late but it's still in the way you carry your outfit. There IS such a thing as fashionably late, isn't there?

♥bitch varsity team captain

Bitch Tip #5: Minimize Eating Out

Eating out bills are made up of cost of food + overhead + service (+ restaurant name!). So eating out costs a lot more than eating at home. Also, the same poison works for spending for overpriced coffee. Bring a “baon” at home or in school, or better yet, choose a clean kitchenette (karinderia), have a daily meal budget and ACTUALLY stick with it.

If you like eating out because it lets you catch up with friends, hold a poker/karaoke/board game night at a friend's house instead. Have easy-to-prepare meals and you may even throw in a bottle of wine. At the end of the day you'll still have fun and you'll save a lot more versus ordering entrees or paying for cocktails and overprices hors d'ouvres.

Bitch Tip #4: Save Up on Manicure Touch Ups

Seriously, the cheapest salon manicure I know costs P50 and the most expensive one (the basic one, not the one with nail art) costs P120. The thing with manicures is that they should always look perfect so you will be pressured to keep them up, or simply keep your nails looking natural.

If you are used to getting a manicure (especially with a colored nail polish on) it’s difficult to get by with naked nails. Plus, there's the pressure brewing if you go to a place where all the female members have manicure-maintained nails. (An expensive college? A bank executives floor?)

My advice: get a manicure set and do it at home. This helps you spend time with yourself, away from chores and work, lets you save, and most of all, you can pick the exact color that you want. If you don’t want that, get a basic manicure session, skip the color and do with colorless polish.

Bitch Varsity's Exclusives: My signature nail color is a sweep of glitters (one coat)and pink translucent polish (two coats). It looks just timid, classy, unique and healthy. Get your own signature color too! :)

Bitch Tip #3: Slash Your Laundry Budget

If you are living alone and has never been a fan of handwashing, you are most likely spending wads of cash to the laundry shop. THAT, or you’re simply extravagant and you want to have ridiculously sweet smelling clothes all the time. (SIGH. Such heaven.)

Laundry services costs start at P15 per kilo. A 2-person household with both people working can accumulate around 12 kilos of laundry a week, excluding bedsheets, pillowcases, curtains, etc. Imagine how much you can save if you did your own laundry!Plus there are laundry shops which charge extra for whites and "industrial" laundry. My advice is, you classify your laundry according to the complexity of it being handwashed. Jeans should be grouped together with heavy-material tops, bedsheets, pillowcases, etc. Send them to laundry. The lighter ones: the “pambahay” clothes, underwear, hankies and socks, handwash them using a good detergent, apply fabric softener if you want, and schedule washing with a buddy so you’d still have fun while you’re at it.

Before there was Tide Total Care and Downy, having the laundry-shop quality was difficult to do with bare hands. Today, mankind has gone a long way. So have fun washing!

Secret shame: I actually find handwashing fun. I get challenged with heavy materials and white bedsheets! Don't.tell.anyone! :)

My Birthday Wish List

Tomorrow, I will be officially leaving the teenage planet and if I make mistakes naivete won't be a valid excuse ANYMORE.

So, bad thoughts aside, I deserve the right to be a little self-indulgent. Here's my birthday wish list: (GET ME SOME GOODIES, BIATCH!)

1. Atonement; book by Ian McEwan
2. A pair of Dupe/ Havaianas/ Old Navy Slippers
3. A pair of pointed black leather shoes
4. A new mascara in brown-black or black
5. A massage! (sigh)
6. Simple, Everyday Silver Earrings
7. Albums Almost Kinda Acoustic 1, 2 and 3
8. A new phone! (pref. LG KS360, SE W302/ W395/C702, Nokia E71 or Samsung Star)
9. A BIG BOUQUET (sigh!)
10. A coat-like dress
11. A pair of boots (brown or black)
12. An uninterrupted day with....nobody nobody but you :)

Other Uses for THE POKER FACE

I've recently mastered the art of displaying the POKER FACE. And I've found it to be heavily useful in other things, namely:

1. When Your Parents Scold You For Going Home Late
2. When You're Doing Flea Market Shopping (don't appear too eager!)
3. When Beggars Ask for Alms And You Don't Wanna Give 'Em A Slice of Your Hard Earned Cash
4. When Your Lover Arrives Home Very Late And Asks You What's For Dinner
5. When Your Good-For-Nothing Employee Asks For a Raise
6. When An Overly Excited Insurance/ Encyclopedia/ Condominium Salesman Approaches You
7. For Mugshots
8. For Wedding Photos Where You Hate the Bride/ Groom
9. When You're Seriously Blogging (he! he!)
10. When You're on a Bitter Blind Date (not that I've been on one..)
11. When an Angry-Looking Dog is Shooting You Eye Daggers
12. Bumping Into an Ex Who Used to be Good Looking
13. When Trying to Shut Down an Overly Chatty Manicurista
14. When Your Pedophile Professor Winks at Your for the Nth Time

and lastly,

15. The Morning You Wake Up And Realize You've Turned 40

Bitch Tip #2: Facial Whitening Creams for the Underarms

I've always known they had to be good for something ELSE.

With all the Filipino obsession for fair skin, my four-woman household gave in to the curse and bought lots and lots of products in the Pond's whitening products range. I don't use whitening products for my skin because I'm already fair skinned (better use sunblock!) and I don't wanna look like those kids in Twilight.

So yeah, this is what I do: I use the Pond's whitening facial wash and creams FOR MY UNDERARMS. When I have more time, I also use them for my elbows and knees for that white-all-over look. And when I wear sleeveless, it's just...pretty. :)

Bonus: Such products are also designed to make your skin more supple so when you tweez or wax, the hair comes off more easily and pain is lessened.

lots of love and beauty,

♥bitch varsity♥

Booty Call

I can feel it rising
that familiar itch
The longing for some
Weight pulling me down
And taking me high
At the same time
In inexplicably loud breaths
And the aroma of
Sweat and other
Forbidden liquids
Filling the air
Along with
Raspy sounds
of muffled words
of opposite nature
“Yes, yes” and
“stop, don’t, stop”
More “yes, yes”
Until---
Both of us are breathless

Fake me some lovin’
some nail-scratchin'
good old hair pullin'

Today,
anyone would
Just do
Just fill the void
And take me
home with you

Bitch Tip # 1: Use Bond Paper Instead of Wax Strips

If you're using cold wax instead of hot wax (ouch!) use bond paper (pref. substance 20) instead of the wax strips. Bond paper takes off more hair in one strippin' so it saves you time waxing. It hurts more though; but just make the strippin' off quick and promise the results will be worth it. :)

GOSSIP GIRL: Examined

I actually knew Gossip girl as a book series back when I was still in high school. (Note: I’ve finished college already.) Today, every high school and college girl must have heard of Gossip girl. This is because Gossip girl has turned into this sensational TV series featuring highly fashionable clothes and a ridiculously good looking crew.

Gossip girl is all about a certain group of affluent students in Upper East Side, New York who are in a seemingly tight place to be climbing up an already crowded social ladder. The most controversial crowd includes:

1. Blair, the “Queen Bee”, a daughter of a famous fashion designer also known as evil sugarcoated
2. Serena, a reformed party girl and Blair’s best friend
3. Nate, Blair’s long time boyfriend who fell for Serena
4. Chuck, a rash play boy who is the son of a rich businessman
5. Jenny, a middle class girl trying to get into Blair’s posse
6. Dan, Jenny’s brother, became Serena’s boyfriend after a few fateful meetings

Gossip girl features this anonymous web site where everybody who is a somebody is featured. This web site thrives in nothing but gossip—who is dating who, where they’re going to college, what (insert name here) wore during the last pool party, who is the latest social climber, etc. Basically, every other person’s life in the Upper East Side is just another tragedy waiting to happen.

What alarms me is that this show has a lot to do with problematic female behavior. Males where taught to deal with difficult situations physically. Two men eyeing the same woman at a bar? A fistfight finishes the story. Computer game buddy getting on your nerves? Fistfight finishes the story. A cheater at gambling? Fistfight all the way. (Not that I encourage it.) However, women are not “trained” that problems should be dealt with physically. Instead, women adopt a slyer and scheming approach: gossip.

The show Gossip girl feeds the notion that gossip is okay and that it is an effective defense against people who seem to want to destroy your life. A gossip is countered by a more poisonous gossip, and this starts a cycle of hatred where there is no end goal but to murder the image of a person. What’s more, the danger multiplies because in Gossip girl, the people are expected to hang out with a particular posse, which is composed of people who are willing to invent the nastiest rumor just to protect a member of this posse. Basically, it’s just like the classic Filipino frat war—just as heartless albeit bloodless.

Moreover, there are a lot of things in Gossip girl which are disapproved by most Filipino minds today. Things such as casual sex, cheating, rebellion, revenge, drug addiction, gambling, catfights and social climbing are presented in Gossip girl in a very natural way, as if it is as natural as the sun rising and setting. What’s worse, they sugarcoat these cultural detriments by hiding them under the coat of glam and good looks.

As one of the most awaited shows of the whole world (thanks to outstanding marketing), Gossip girl received mixed reviews during their first few week of airing. In fact, the Parents Television Council of America labeled Gossip Girl as “Mind-blowingly Inappropriate”, “A Nasty Piece of Work” and “Every Parent’s Nightmare”. If that’s not enough, people who ACTUALLY live in the Upper East Side also accused Gossip Girl of over-glamorizing their lifestyles. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, I won’t be a hypocrite here. I was also addicted to Gossip girl. It was that addiction which made me examine it a little bit deeper (I actually rewatched Seasons 1 and 2!). Sure, the clothes are great and everyone is just ridiculously attractive. Gossip girl is a guilty pleasure, a sin chamber, and you know you love it (anyway). But we have to take a good look at our values again and not be taken by this storm of evil disguising as a TV show.

Got something to say? Email it to me —live_out_loud@ymail.com. Gossip girl’s third season is just coming up, and we’ll all be waiting…or not.

Who do I love? Katy Perry!

Katy Perry is an outstanding new artist, like a refreshing cocktail in a sea of boring old drinks.

Her lyrics are either smart, feisty and heartfelt. With an easily distinguishable voice and doll-like appearance, it didn't take long for Katy Perry to rise up the music charts.

She took the world by the storm for the first time over "I Kissed a Girl" which talked about a girl kissing another girl for the first time and actually liking it. The song is naughty but very direct to the point. This song came in handy in the "gay fad", where TV shows like the L word, Queer as Folk and talks about Lindsay + Samantha Ronson, Portia + Ellen and some gay boyband members skyrocketed.

Kety Perry then surprises us with a ballad: Thinking of You. It is a sad love song with a very melodramatic music video.

What makes Katy Perry so distinct is her versatility. She flings from "I Kissed a Girl" (pop) to "Thinking of You" (mellow) to "Waking Up in Vegas" (party) and it doesn't look like she's doing a lot of effort doing so. Kudos to you Katy Perry.

And I'll be looking forward to greater music and more eyelash batting, biatch. :)

How to Be an Icon ♥

I’m not saying I am one, but since you’re already assuming it, okay, I won’t put up a fight.

Anyway, lately, I’ve been spending most of my time just thinking about life, going through it half-listening to people and half-asleep. I guess there’s this thing about unemployment that makes you appreciate the OTHER things in life aside from money. (Oh, are there actually OTHER things in life aside from money? Just kidding.) I’ve been thinking how we live to die and how we just have to make the most out of our lives.

So here goes. I compiled a list of things that we need to do in order to make a mark in this world. I know it’s difficult to top how sorry people felt when Cory Aquino died but at least when we do, we get to be remembered for some things that fall under the category of “pleasant memories”.

1. Have a signature accessory. For Chuck Bass of Gossip Girl, it was his scarf. For Miranda Priestly of The Devil Wears Prada (the book), it was her white Hermes scarf. No, it doesn’t need to be a scarf, just something that you can wear everyday. I know a friend who wears a bundle of extraordinary necklaces everyday and it seemed to blend into whatever he wears. And he gets known for it. A signature accessory makes you “own” such accessory because people see you frequently with it. (Just like when people see you often with a single person, they assume you’re a couple.)

2. Have a signature scent. Studies show that scents are the greatest memory triggers. Wear something that’s light enough to blend with any weather and something that can go from day to night. Choose a scent that you really like and maintain wearing it for a long time. When people you know smell it from someone else, they will instantly remember you. Besides, there’s really no excuse for not smelling good, is there?

3. Speak a certain way…consciously. This may sound difficult for some people but when you get used to it, it comes out naturally. A lot of people think I’m really “disagreeable” or, in our dialect, “maldita” because when I talk and when I’m engrossed in an (intellectual) conversation, I tip my head to the left and raise my left eyebrow. If you see me from afar, I look very “maldita”. But until now, nobody knows I do it just because that’s the angle where I’m more photogenic. Charming varsity, isn’t it? Intellectual thoughts + good looks! Boo! Hahaha!

4. Get published. Gah! I don’t care how you do it. Whether you volunteer for a charity organization and have a press-worthy event, win an inter-school spelling bee, be accused of mass murder, be the first Filipino on the moon or be the next Wowowee millionaire, just getting your name and/or picture on print is a good avenue to be remembered. You do THAT, or just apply as a writer here. Hehe.

What can I say? Life’s too short to be unnoticed. Email me! Live_out_loud@ymail.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FANCY PANTS

Happy Birthday to my favorite bitch, PAMELA.

visit her fabulous blog and send her your kisses. that was not a request.

Women and Spending

Money has been pretty tight to me lately. I just decided to take up writing seriously and the paychecks arrived late and sometimes, some clients from overseas terminate projects in the middle of our agreed time and there’s no way for me to have my say. That’s how it works in the industry I’m in. So lately, I’ve been trying to make ends meet through a tight purse.

It was difficult. God, it was difficult. I was used to having a good life, partying at night, and hanging out at posh coffee shops or shopping malls by day. Writing was paying really well so when I lost two of my biggest accounts because our projects are finished, I kind of tilted towards life. Then it dawned on me that it’s not really because money ran out fast. Money was still arriving, albeit in slower paces, but it was my attitude towards money which put me in the losing end.

Women, unlike men, are often not judged or measured by how much we earn. In fact, most of the things which were taught by our mothers were those which involved housekeeping, childrearing and taking care of our bodies. Men were often measured by their status in the society and, of course, how much they earn. Every gathering that involves highflying men always looked like an ego parade to me. Everyone was flashing their watches, taking out their cellular phones and name dropping like crazy. Men and money had a very close relationship and they’re not afraid to flaunt it.

Women, on the other hand, often feel embarrassed when discussing money. We are the ones who find it difficult to tell our friends to pay us the money they owe us. We are the ones who include emotion in our shopping, those who spend money to feel better, those who want to be pampered and are willing to spend for it. We think we deserve such pampering, and more middle-class purses are spending for upper class luxuries. I’ve seen many women who fall into this trap. Measly earning market vendors are getting weekly pedicures. Girls who go to public schools because their parents cannot afford to send them anywhere else spend for hair treatments to look good. A lot of women are guilty of shopping whenever they’re depressed.

I’ve read somewhere that the materialism today was caused by the emerging of two-income families during the 1960s. In this boom, women began receiving and spending money, but they weren’t taught properly on how to handle it. Women began to rise in the workforce, with the famous “second shift” (work during the day and when they get home they work again to housekeep) brushed under the rug. Simply put, women didn’t really confront money as much as men have, and this is one of the reasons why I seriously believe that a lot of women should read up more on financial security and management.

As for the rest of the world, that’s the idea. As for me, I’m painting my nails at home.

Got some money saving tips? I’m planning to compile the smartest contributions and publish them. Gimme a ding—live_out_loud@ymail.com

Ranting About the Rapping: The Evils of Hip Hop

Generations have passed since hip hop was first introduced as a formal music genre. But then hip hop stood. In fact, hip hop has been reinvented over and over, added flavors, colors, some bling bling. Do I like hip hop? Occasionally. Which means…I don’t, really.

Hip hop used to be a “good vibe” music, makes my head bang softly, a relaxing tune coupled with beats. I had no problem with beats—my heart beats. But today, hip hop has become more than just a musical genre. It has become a misleading lifestyle.

Careful when letting kids watch hip hop music videos or anything closely associated with it. In fact, if you look at the language that they use, rhymes are powdered with foul words, as if those foul words are integrated in the music. This is detrimental because the use of such words will be normalized and since hip hop is “fun”, such words will be deemed as acceptable. The truth is, hip hop is one of the avenues where newer foul words are born. Today, there are about dozens of words that can demean the persona. Words such as “shorty”, “slut”, “hoe” and “bitch” are used side-by-side “dawg” (dog) and “nigga”. These words only reached mainstream use when they appeared more and more frequently in hip hop songs. Tsk tsk.

Another thing that I don’t like about the whole hip hop fad is the way it glamourizes the use and abuse of drugs, alcohol and smoking. In a lot of hip hop videos, the aforementioned things are deemed as cool. The more expensive the drugs, the alcohol and the smokes are, the more powerful and “cool” that person is. Such things are portrayed as a luxurious lifestyle, and they are packaged along with all the bling bling, the beautiful women, the red carpet. When presented together, they create an image these things usually come together, and the drugs, alcohol and smokes all look “okay” and “acceptable” now. If you take out all the glamour, these things will revert to being easily recognizable social evils. That’s it. They’re evil. But hip hop is the mask that hides their evil-ness. Again, tsk tsk.

Lastly, the thing I don’t like most about hip hop is the way they treat women in their music videos. Usually, the women who appear in such videos are scantily clad, and they usually wear a face that’s more often than not the face of desperate seduction. (Rolls eyes.) These women are not just treated as social objects but they are explicitly flaunting such treatment. There are a lot of avenues where women are also treated as sexual objects. Take, for example, James Bond movies, other superhero movies, and even a number of chick flicks. However, in hip hop videos, women are always the ones who lured the men, the ones who surrounded the men, and no matter how beautiful they are, the men always rule. I repeat, tsk tsk.

I have no problems if you like hip hop. After all, there’s still the music part that pulls me into tuning my radio to hip hop still. But if you see the way I do, or completely oppositely, you may give me a ding---live_out_loud@ymail.com.

Back to Square One

need.to.find.a.new.job.asap

a more satisfying one
a more motivating one
a more challenging one
a higher paying one
a more fabulous one

lol. until then, come home, come home.. :)

On Being a Writer

When I am asked what my profession is, I answer in a heartbeat: “I am a writer”. Because that is what I do, and what I love doing. I also have other careers on the side but writing has become a fuel for my living—both artistically and economically. Most people glaze their eyes in sheer delight, like it was a very impressive thing to be a writer. On one side, it is true. Being a writer is combined skill and hardwork, and a little speed, sometimes. Most of all, it is closely related to the love for the arts, which is quite wonderful, an aberration to all the seemingly boring corporate jobs that engulf the money-hungry and consumerist world today.

The truth is, being a (paid) writer is not an easy feat especially if you really love writing. Sometimes there is just a thin line between work and love for the craft and this line blurs when work is not doing too well. On the flip side, a lot of times, I’ve found myself looking around for certain words to complete a poem or a creative nonfiction and then I end up not finding them because I might have used too much words which didn’t mean anything to me (due to work) and so words have just slowly lost meaning. And luster.

I cope with this love-hate relationship by keeping a few good pieces by my side. These are books which I love to read and reread because they contain such great literary pieces or just because they were light enough to read during nights when I find it hard to sleep. I keep funny books (chick lit), intellectual books (feminist and sociologist theories), instructional books (Poker techniques) and some good old drama by Jodi Piccoult, for example.

On the contrary, I don’t really live a charmed life. I’m sure Nicholas Sparks and Dan Brown would agree too. Writing about the things which you are passionate about is easy. However, most of the work consists of things which I don’t have the slightest idea about. I’ve written about anti-aging ingredients, about psychedelic mushrooms, about relationships, wind mills, subliminal messaging, watches, flags, and even divorce. If I had my way, I will write about the youth culture (just like in this column) and other random things which I feel like writing about. Perhaps, Facebook, feminism, the people I love, nail color, sunblock, good haircuts, debate and Sony Ericsson phones.

Writing for me has also become an outlet. I tend to think and write faster when I’m mad. I tend to write about a lot of meaningful things when I’m sad. I don’t write at all when I’m feeling so down or “lost”. Writing has been the only thing which did not betray me. Yes, even financially! Writing was paying for my lavish lifestyle for more than a year now. (I kind of given up the lavish lifestyle, by the way.) Writing has become a life long love affair.

There were times when I left writing behind in pursuit of other interests such as debate, dancing, table tennis and poker. But then I always find myself coming back to it, and it accepts me giddily, like a parent to a child. This has recurred so many times, so I realize that whenever I write, no matter what medium I use, I always feel at home. Sometimes, even invincible.

I guess being a writer doesn’t mean that you have to have writing as a profession or that you win a Palanca or publish dozens of books. Maybe it just means that you seriously believe that you lived to write…and nothing else matters.

Now it’s your turn. Write me a letter--- live_out_loud@ymail.com

Some Basic Human Rights

Yesterday, I went on a date with a person I've taken for granted for quite sometime, myself.

I went to SM to do a favor for someone and I found myself craving for shredded corn. (They're yummy with butter and iodized salt.) I ordered two cups and walked around the mall in sheer buttery glory. Then suddenly, there it was. A literary mini Mecca..a book sale. I scurried over and found that the books on sale just cost 99php for two pieces! The best part? There were poetry books, film books and some classics and they were all BRAND NEW! Su-weet! :)

I spend about an hour sitting down, standing up, titling my head to the side to read the titles, examining summaries, spotting interesting covers, delineating fiction from non fiction, prose from poetry, and batting my lashes at the boy manning the cash register*, I finally made up my mind and picked up four books.
*of course, this part is fictional

One was about social climbing in England, the one about a hidden 13 year affair by Charles Dickens, one is a collection of funny anecdotes about a girl's relationship with her mom, and the last one is a story of a small town beauty queen who gets a dollop of culture shock in Manhattan. Everything fell under light reading except, of course, the Dickens expose.

Then I went to the food court to sit down, eager to have a closer look at my books (my babies!) and ordered a tad overpriced chocolate roll. It's actually a little over my daily budget but hey, CHOCOLATE IS A FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHT, right?

How to be SUPERGIRL (And Not Lose Your Head in the Process)

How to be Supergirl (and Not Lose Your Head in the Process)

Conjuring all the courage I’ve picked up from everywhere, I’m going to enumerate the things that have been filling my days. I am 19. I organize events for a bar regularly, and I am also an event manager by appointment. I have a full time job as an assistant to the Directress of a Montessori school. I write for Mindanao Times. I also write regularly for three different bosses—two from the Philippines and one from overseas. I own and manage an online gift shop. I am an alumni member of Mindanao’s best debate club—The Ateneo Debate Varsity. I am a member of the Young Davao Writers and The Davao Film Society (tentative name). I have a writing career, an events manager career, an entrepreneurial career and a poker career. I AM SUPERGIRL.

A lot of people are amazed at how I take care of my time and my engagements. The thing is, I’ve been so used to this packed life that I can’t imagine how to “declutter” my life anymore. (Not that my life is solely associated to clutter. . .) I am used to the pressure, all the running around, fiddling with my two phones, eating lunch in a box and retouching my makeup in a taxi cab. If you are living a life nearly similar as mine, it would be nice to remember a few tips.

1. Be organized. It’s a good thing technology has come up with organization tools! Cellular phones nowadays also carry calendars, reminder notes (with alarms!) and clocks with them. But even so, I recommend the use of a handy notebook and a pen to keep track of your days. At least notebooks never run out of battery; plus, there is something about paper that makes it look more convincing. And don’t forget to ALWAYS wear a watch.

2. Stay organized. A day before a heavily busy day, you will know that the next day is, well, a heavily busy day. So plan that day ahead. What I do is I mark my organizer by the hour and specify what I will be doing in that specific hour. This measure pressures you to stay on the right track and that every second counts. Because, when you are a Supergirl, it’s true..every second counts.

3. Prioritize. Know the gray areas of what’s important and not important. Then there’s the less important and the more important. This skill is the key to knowing which things are the things that you SHOULD be doing. Saves the Supergirl thinking of an excuse to tell to the person she’s about to turn down.

4. Indulge in little pleasures. Once in a while, stop and spend for none but yourself. By working too hard, you are also pushing your mental, physical and psychological abilities. You will need a time out. Whether it’s playing poker, getting a manicure or reading a the latest magazine, everyone deserves the right for some reward after working so hard. This keeps you from really losing your head and makes you feel more like a human being rather than an insensitive machine. Me? I treat myself to foot massages, reading chick literature and slowly sipping overpriced cappuccinos. THAT, or lechon.


Did I sound like what I do is very easy? I’m sure there are not a lot of girls who can do all these economical satire. Haha. So email me about your own version of Supergirl--- live_out_loud@ymail.com.

(Don’t worry, I love reading your emails no matter how busy I am. I sincerely believe fan mails are the next antioxidants.) :)

ARE YOU WORTH FACEBOOKING?

When Facebook first hit the Philippine youth, I was all glum about it. I’ve been maintaining Friendster, a blog and Multiply, and I didn’t want to get into another social networking fiasco, like a lost underwear in a laundry bag full of dirty clothes.

But then again, one writing assignment got me into Facebook. My client wanted me to get in touch with him over there. I couldn’t get why he wanted that but I acquiesced anyway. So voila! I got a Facebook account.

At first, I was so busy stocking it with information and then I got tired. I let it sleep for awhile, just approve friend requests of friends I know, and then suddenly, my photos were stuffed. Turns out, photos of friends which have you in it are also uploaded in your profile. Coolness. Now I don’t have to upload. People can just do it for me. I poked around for more fun, and found poker. I told myself, “Finally, something worth Facebook-ing.” I climbed up the ranks pretty easily and my online poker career started there.

But I didn’t want to be unfair to Facebook. I knew it was so much more than poker. So I published some of my poetry there and updated on my friends’ walls. (Walls are like their corkboards. You can write or put up anything there and whatever you put up, it is understood to be intended for the one who owns the “wall”.) Then I started checking it out everyday. More and more friends added me up and the funny thing is that, most of these people are people I knew waaaay before, like elementary buddies. High school acquaintances in Cebu ask how I was and I knew they all saw my latest pictures.

I say I also enjoy looking at how they were..and I think this is what we do Facebook for. I got in touch with a friend I made during first grade. She used to be bullied because she had a birthmark on her forehead but now she’s turned out to be a really pretty girl. Actually pretty was an understatement! She looks like a model! I also discovered some handsome boys during elementary and high school who turned out to be not so handsome after all.

Then I came into a very profound realization: ugly ducklings and have-beens, that’s what Facebook is for. Facebook runs almost always on autopilot; even if you’re not updating, you will be updated because other people are always looking around. Facebook is a good avenue to catch up how everybody’s been, and notice that Facebooking (yes honey, it’s a verb now) will eventually define how you’d be feeling for the rest of the day. Frankly, I feel a lot better every after I Facebook. I’d see old friends who have been successful and old flames who turned out to be not worth my time. LOL.

All I can say is that Facebook is out to build more and more avenues for “catching up”. Ugly ducklings and have-beens, Facebook is for you. Then again, a friend asks, “What about those who aren’t either?” Well, they could just keel over and die a virtual death. Then we’ll all bury their ashes under a virtual rug and we could go on Facebooking without them.

So, are you known for something yet? Are YOU worth Facebooking?

Email me your silent violations via live_out_loud@ymail.com. I’ll get back to you when I’m not Facebooking.

Having No Degree and Rocking It

In my defense, I have a degree.

Okay, next topic.

Most third world nations are plagued with the apparent haste of globalization, the thicker competition for jobs and the number of kids who do not find traditional education attractive anymore. There are more bars newly erected than schools. Ever notice that before?

This alarms me. (And a few thousand parents out there.) In a country where putting AND KEEPING food on the table is of highest importance, a lot of people struggle to get a diploma, a degree, to at least assure them of employment after they graduate. Then they try to venture into the corporate world. Then there’s the food-on-the-table pressure. .

However, there are also a lot of jobs which do not really require a diploma, but can put food on the table. And expensive perfumes on the dresser! Here is a list of the things that you can try to plunge into in case you just want to earn.

1. Call Center. First on the list, of course. Most call centers do not require a college diploma, as long as you’re good in English and you have problem-solving skills. Most call center companies also offer intensive training for their agents so even if you’re just armed with English, you will survive in this industry. Most call center companies offer an above rank-and-file rate for starters and that’s what makes it very attractive to most people nowadays.

2. Online Writing. I was almost self-supporting all throughout fourth year college because of online writing. There IS a lot of money in this industry. See, the web is the virtual mall nowadays. More and more businesses are investing on their online wings, therefore, online articles (GOOD stuff to read—a major come-on) sell high especially if you’re a skilled writer. My advice to writers out there—learn online writing first. It is waaaay different than writing in print. If you have been following my Wednesday column (Mindanao Times), I wrote about online writing a few weeks ago. Five stars for you if you read it.


3. ESL (English as Second Language) Teaching. Aside from call centers, there is also another baby industry growing. Actually it’s not so “baby“ anymore. More and more foreigners want to keep up with the English speaking world. I remember working in this industry three years ago. This industry pays a minimum of P50 per hour, that’s P400 for eight hours. Way above minimum wage, eh? And again, you don’t need a degree. Just learn English and ace the interview.

4. Digital Art. This is pretty tricky. Of course, you won’t really need a degree to master Adobe (all the Adobe in the world!) but you will spend sometime learning them—and a whole lot more-- before you master layouting, logo designing, web development, et cetera. This industry belongs more in the freelance arena; because there is more money there, if you know how to work your network. This industry also is bombarded with demands because companies nowadays stand neck-to-neck against each other in terms of marketing competition. They are more aggressive than ever. The bolder they go, the higher the impact. Arts and sales will scream louder than ever! Thanks to the corporate world.


It is also widely held that while such professions vomit a hefty paycheck, they do not offer a lot of opportunities to move forward and advance careers because they are more individually targeted and static rather than team targeted. And, if there really is moving forward, like up the corporate ladder, only a few people will benefit from it.

As this article ends, I still haven’t decided if a degree is unnecessary nowadays. But yearbooks are always fun to look at a few years from now. So there. Haha.

Email me your thoughts…live_out_loud@ymail.com…but right after you finish your homework. Because as what I’ve said, in my defense, I have a degree. :)

How to be English-ly Eloquent

How to be English-ly Eloquent

A lot of people nowadays find eloquence in the English language a very good advantage. In fact, one of the biggest reasons why I landed a job I wanted so much is my mastery of the English language.

With call centers sprouting like crazy and more ESL centers expanding, learning how to communicate in English (both oral and written) becomes one of the country’s leading concerns. In fact, there is more pressure for us Filipinos to up the ante because we are considered as one of the best English speakers in the world. If you feel left out because you can’t even put your is’s and are’s properly, here are a few tips on how to get chummy with the English language.

1. Learn the basics. Nothing beats learning the basics. Re-learn what nouns, pronouns, verbs. adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, prepositions and interjections are. (They are called eight parts of speech, by the way.) I’m sure you remember encountering these words when you were in your elementary years. Rekindle your memories with them and vow to never forget their worth. Thank me later.

2. Read, read, read! Read everything you can get your hands on. I am a very industrious reader; I’d read anything, from the Bible to the back of a shampoo bottle, to an eight-page celebrity magazine expose. This helps me get used to English, and my brain also gets used to processing things in English. Hence, when I start forming and opinion or an idea, I do so in English already…instinctively. If you are not a very industrious reader, I recommend reading “easy” materials like magazines or preteen novels. In this way, the learning becomes light and at the same time enjoyable. You can move on to reading Ayn Rand and Tom Clancy and John Locke later.


3. Actually speak English. Now this is the tricky part. In the Philippines, where people are taught to be humble, speaking English comes off as cocky to a lot of people because it is not our native language. However, there is no better practice than actually speaking English (I don’t care who you speak English to!) because it is where you can apply everything you’ve learned—the basics and the advanced ones. If you find this difficult, you can start singing in English (hehe!) and move on to speaking whenever you’re more comfortable.

4. Appreciate English. English is home to a lot of very good artistry—talk about Nobel prize winners, the local Palanca and Pablo Neruda. There are so many things to appreciate in the English language. I recommend reading poetry, since they’re short and oftentimes very moving. They’re compacted emotions, and beautiful symphonies arrested in flight. There are poems which haunt you to sleep and poems which make you shiver, fall in love, timetravel... No, poems are not 4D, but they’re good tools to help you appreciate the English language in a jiffy. My personal favorites include John Donne, Sylvia Plath and our very own Edith Tiempo.


5. Surround yourself with English. Now this is a habit; and this must not stop. Listen to English songs, read English literature, watch movies in English (switch the subtitles on for better comprehension!) and most importantly, talk to people in English. You’ll be an expert in no time. And don’t forget your basics.

Congratulations, you can now call yourself a Filipino. Oops! Just kidding.

Let’s try your English out, email me IN ENGLISH--- live_out_loud@ymai.com