It's More Than Just Ruffa Vs. Kris

If you have not heard about the fiasco about Ruffa Gutierrez’s walking out at the set of last Sunday’s The Buzz because Kris Aquino made a comment about her transferring to another station (“Aminin mo, mas masaya dito!”), well then you might be one of the last ones to know about it. (Good thing it’s in Youtube. Search it.)

There are times when Kris can be really insensitive and tactless and sometimes at the point of verbally bullying but I think it was also partly Ruffa’s fault for being such a pushover at times.

Well I understand Ruffa. If you grew up in a household that’s brimming with Annabelle Rama, you really can just be one of the two extremes: a ditzy pushover or a headstrong vixen. Speaking of Annabelle Rama, she also said on a show that Ruffa once cried because she was so fed up with Kris Aquino always interrupting her when she talks.

To you, Kris Aquino, it’s rude to interrupt and that’s just it. No rocket science. And to you Ruffa, try to stand for yourself sometimes and grow thicker armor when you know that you’ll be facing the likes of Kris Aquino on a weekly basis. Now, I’m not sure if Ruffa has talked to Kris about this or not, but if she just stood up for herself and demanded the kind of attention and treatment that she deserves, I’m sure Kris will get the message.

Also, it’s best that both of them need to think of the show as a whole before becoming too emotional. If something like this happens again, or happens to YOU, dear reader, try to keep your cool and be patient. If you are in the middle of yet another round of useless ranting or tactless unsolicited comments, calmly change the subject or tell that friend gently that you are not comfortable with what’s being discussed or that you’d like very much to speak and be listened to until you really have spoken your mind out.

Lastly, it’s best to stay strong. I saw the actual episode where Kris was making the comments and then Ruffa said “Tama na Kris, don’t rub it in. I’m sad about it too.” However at that point, Little Miss Chitty Chat still kept on talking about it! Ruffa was obviously at the point of crying and she looked really hurt. I know it’s just work but I’m sure someone like Ruffa treats showbiz work as a big part of their lives (it’s a career for God’s sake!) and she know that work can be filled with forced relationships and (read:) forced relating. If you show them that you’re afraid of something, the self-esteem predators will not think twice about assaulting you.

So if you’re like Ruffa, who has made a bold move and signed a contract with another station (because let’s say it’s true, that she doesn’t like the way Kris treats her and this affects her productivity as an artist) stand up for that and be firm about it. When you’re on the other side of the fence, you’ll see.

And that’s it. It’s more than just Kris vs. Ruffa. There are other hidden bullies in our lives and we must learn to stand up to them and be strong. Don’t let anybody bully you.

If all else fails, learn black magic. Haha just kidding!

How do you stand up to a bully? Got a bully story? Email me at live_out_loud@ymail.com. ♥

The Art of Power Lunching

I am an extremely busy person. And no, I did not italicize just to sensationalize. I juggle many hats and I attend to different parts of my life. I work here, here, here, here, here, here and somewhere else. Sometimes I’m here and sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I’m a writer and sometimes I’m not. There is no definite badge for me. Because I’m leading jam-packed days, I’ve finally mastered the art of power lunching.

See, I have always believed that eating is one of the highest forms of glory. Teachers, warriors, leaders, artists, children and laborers all stop to eat. And you probably remember what our elementary school teachers told us: Breakfast is the most important meal of the day; therefore you should not miss it.

Even when that statement still holds true for me, now ten years older and a few years wiser, I have also come to the conclusion that for a busybee like me, lunch is also an extremely important meal. Just think like this: if you want to stay upbeat and thinking right until around the time that you’re about to sleep, you must eat lunch, because it’s the breakfast of the second part of your jam-packed day.

And so here comes the Messianic solution: POWER LUNCHES.

Power lunches are lunches which are high in carb and sugar, and yes I recommend it because it works. You’re going to use them up later in the day anyway. Here are some tips for effective power lunching.

1. When you eat, REALLY eat. Do not surf the net, do not text incessantly, do not chat too much. Savor all the flavors that land on your tongue and just before you eat, smell the aroma of the food to keep your appetite running. They say that eating involves more than the sense of taste. So indulge in everything—sight, smell, taste and touch, if you must.

2. Don’t hurry. For people who are always on-the-go, it’s easy to take lunches which are hurried. In fact, I’ve fallen into this trap long ago and just ordered to-go Chinese food because they’re sticky and I don’t have to chew that much. LOL, imagine! If you hurry, you won’t be able to really feel that you have eaten and the ending is that you don’t really feel fulfilled and after a few minutes you’d have strange cravings.

3. Drink luxuriously. Finish off with a lovely drink. I always make sure that I finish off with softdrinks everyday but I keep the dosage at half a bottle (around 100-150 ml). Sometimes, I treat myself to ice cold mochaccino or a choco macciato. This seals the power lunch and the self-bonding and it also doubles as a dessert time so you end lunching feeling pretty great…and so you become productive for the rest of the day. (Yes, it really works, skeptic.)

So those are my two cents for free. One last tip though: try as much as you can to eat what you want. If you are tight on budget, maximize it. Remember, also, that your goal is to truly fill your stomach. So don’t do with fancy lunches such as very light pasta or salad if you know that you’ve got 1874927429 things to accomplish for the rest of the day.

Let me know what you think. And let’s go over it via lunch. Via a power lunch.

You Can Never Be Too Thin

My bestfriend, who, I bet, has a below 27” waist line, claims she’s fat.

Upon hearing this, I turn to my side and look at the mirror across me and see how “fat” she really is. And how “fat” I must be. You know what I think? If that’s fat then Bea Alonzo must be obese.

My best friend is not alone. I know thousands of other girls out there who are actually underweight and still claim they’re fat. I’ve read somewhere: you can never be too rich, or too thin. And I believe every single word. In a world where stick-thin airbrushed models are treated like royalty in terms of beauty, there is really no other way to go but the skinny way.

Needless to say, I cannot put into words how alarmed I feel whenever I also fall into this trap. There are just some days that I think my tummy is bigger than it’s supposed to be. Yes, even when the jeans I bought four years ago still fit me perfectly. Well, I blame media for this! Haha! (And why, I’m part of media too, am I not?)

The thing is, are overdosed with images of “beautiful” people in small waistlines, like having a weight and “body proportion” requirement for every regular beauty pageant in town. Now THAT, plus a hundreds of new slimming pills, procedures and food products which promise a more “beautiful” you once you take sign up under their program. And when we’re exposed to this kind of image overload, we will forever associate being thin with being beautiful and feeling good.

I won’t come all Messianic and self-righteous by saying all those hypocritical magazine cliches (read: “You are beautiful in any size or shape!” and then powder the rest of their pages with malnourished looking girls with smoky eyes.). BUT my advice is, try to learn to really love your body as it is and exhaust its potential. I don’t have a perfect body, and it took such a long time embracing it, really.

Get this: I don’t have long legs, big breasts, a big butt, abs, long fingers. If that’s not enough, my skin is also not perfect. BUT this is the body which helps me achieve the things I have to achieve and it makes me productive. Whenever I contribute something good for myself and for others, it makes me feel good. And I won’t say I’m not doing something about it. I make sure that I dress well. Because I’m skinny (and I think I’m skinny enough) I wear skinny jeans and flattering blouses. My work also requires me to become on-the-go so I just wear flats and love all five feet and two inches of me. Most of all, I make sure that I’m clean and I smell good all the time. Does that sound difficult to you? Of course not.

So today--and I guess this goes for the rest of my life--whenever I look at the mirror, I like what I see…though it took me a long time getting here! (By the way, I tuck my tummy in every now and then. It’s less effort than exercise! Haha!)

Do you also believe that you can never be too thin?

The Best Investments I've Ever Made

If you remember, a few months (and about a hundred realizations) back, I talked about the best and the worthiest investment that you will ever make. I talked about how you should invest in your name, your reputation and the network that you work with. For me, I got to places with a clean name. It works the same way for everyone. Also, I remember screwing up on something a long time ago and my superior told me “your name will eventually catch up on you”. So since then, I learned how to be 100% professional and I got to take care of my name. Besides, we all know that people will always remember your mistake (and not your success) all the time, don’t they?

However, aside from a good and clean name, there are also other investments that I’m happy I made. Here are the ones at the top of my head:

1. Eyeglasses – For four years, I’ve been running on a -3.00 grade. Yes, I’m nearsighted and it sucks. However, recently, I just found out that it has simmered down to -2.5 and I just changed glasses and contact lenses. It takes a long time to land with the perfect glasses and when I finally got it, I took care of it like it’s my own child. (BTW, the perfect glasses are those which fit you well, look good on you and has powered UV shields.)

2. Dark skinny jeans – I never spent a lot on clothes…until I got across dark colored skinny jeans. You know the fashion mantra “when in doubt, wear jeans” right? Well that’s just about it. But for me, for one who wears jeans everyday, jeans are really investments. I bought one which costs only P350 at a tiangge just because it looked good on me. For less than three months, the pocket got ripped so I can’t put coins at the right pocket. FAIL. Now I make sure that I buy high quality jeans…and keep my waistline at 25 (or 26).

3. An All Around Phone – During my last birthday, I bought a chic new phone for myself. It was LG KS360, a really good looking, slide up QWERTY phone. It was like the ones you see on Gossip girl. However, as time passed by I realized that it wasn’t as fast as I wanted it to be, the camera is not as good and it hangs up everytime I wanted to type fast. (Sad, I know. QWERTY phone my *ss!) So I sold it off to buy a SE T700 phone, which is pretty much like everything I could ever want. It’s a mid range phone that’s slim, light, fast, has a high memory ceiling, a great camera with a flash and great sound. It’s the love of my life.

4. BB Cream – I will never get tired of talking about BB Creams. If you are not familiar with BB Creams they are like all-around bases, they work as a moisturizer, foundation, sunblock, concealer, anti aging cream and a treatment cream in one! I think it was Skin Food which released one of the first BB creams here in the Philippines (aside from Korean brands, since BB creams are such big hits in Korea) but I find Maybelline BB Cream just perfect for me.

5. Comfy Strapped Rubber Sandals – I have what my colleagues in school refer to as a “lounging job”. For them, it means a job that I love, which doesn’t pressure me, which requires me to work at my own pace, and yes, wearing whatever I desire to…as long as it’s decent. So for work, I am allowed to wear those strappy rubber sandals (which can often double as slippers). They can be pricey (Ipanema, Havaianas, Sanuk, etc.) but they’re really comfy and stylish. I can wear them everyday!

Aside from quality haircuts and a condominium, these are some relevant bits the things I spend for. (I’m still working on the condominium part, LOL!)

How about you? What are the things that you are willing to spend for? Email me at live_out_loud@ymail.com. :D

On Waxing

So EFFIN' PAINFUL
...but so EFFIN' WORTH IT.

Waxing Tips:

1. If you're a first time user, be sure to read about wax and waxing in the internet. (One point for you coz you're here.)

2. Remember that hot wax is really painful, like melted candle wax poured on your skin. So be ready for this.

3. Of course waxing hurts. Remember that. Just make sure that you make it quick. Strip off with fury! \m/

4. It's better to use Substance 20 bond papers than waxing strips. It strips off more hair so you get the most out of one strippin'.

5. If you use cold wax, seal it tightly and throw away your waxed papers well. One of the major ingredients of cold wax is sugar so it tends to attract ants.

6. Yes you can actually do home bikini/ Brazilian waxing. I recommend cold wax. Afterwards, it's also best to wash the area off with a mild feminine wash. It will turn red but that will only last for less than an hour. :) (Whew!)

7. Be patient. Depending on the thickness of your hair, you might have to wax one area over and over again until it is 100% clear.

Fun Things to Squeeze In During Lunch Breaks

I LOVE MY LUNCH BREAKS. I just love the idea that food / eating is one of the highest form of glories. I mean, warriors, teachers, priests, students, politicians all stop to eat. That makes eating a really powerful activity (um, literally too) because it makes us realize that we are all, after all, just human. Attached with this glory, lo and behold, the corporate world RESPECTS lunch breaks.

Whenever I have my lunch break, I don’t really eat lunch. I spend it doing other things which are not work-related. And then I get through the day with a smile on my face. I’ve come up with a list of my favorite things to squeeze in during lunch breaks.

1. Chatting with a good friend. This can also be your officemate/ colleague too. Chatting about simply anything—fashion, relationship, hobbies—makes you touchbase into another person’s soul and lets you bond properly. Surely there are other more exciting things than spreadsheets and deadlines and the clients breathing down your necks. Chill. And as for your good friend, if you can’t see each other in person, drop a quick call or indulge in a text-fest.

2. A mani-pedi. Whenever I’m inside a salon, I really feel relaxed. No, wait. What I meant was, I feel like a queen. I make sure that I go to the posh salons because their services are really above par and the attendants won’t size me up like vultures (or at least they do it more subtlely). A mani-pedi only lasts for 30 minutes. If the place is not too busy, request for two attendants to attend to you at once. When you get back to your office, you’ve got some color jumping on your keyboard. Really chic! Bonus: Mani-pedis are really cheap here in Davao.

3. A fabulous drink. No, I’m not suggesting anything alcoholic here. Just a drink which makes you feel better and luxurious. Overpriced fancy coffee? No problem. A fruit shake? Better. For me, it’s Twinings tea in Four Red Fruits. Really relaxing and makes me feel good. Smells good too! Indulge in liquid goodness to help you get through the day feeling good.

4. A fun/ inspiring video. If your office has internet access, then spend the rest of your lunch break by viewing funny/ inspiring videos. If you want, you can even squeeze in one or two episodes of your favorite TV series. I shamelessly admit that my key to blah-away days are one or two episodes of The Hills. Yes, that’s right, the one with the superficial super rich blondes who are always crying over the same men and backstabbing each other. I guess it’s inspiring to know that I’m much more productive than them. And so are 2047298472394 other girls I know. (The numerical figure is a joke.)

5. Cat nap. Why, this is one thing that you should really try but not overdo. Power naps are great when taken at the middle of the day; just be sure that you’re one of those people who are comfortable just leaning over your table and keeping your feet flat on the ground. For shame-free naps, keep your face faced down on your desk and set a cellphone alarm so you can go back to work on time. And don’t forget to gargle with mouthwash after. Tee hee!

6. A Quickie. NO EXPLANATION NEEDED.

See? My even my lunch breaks help me become more productive at work. When you feel good, there is a high likelihood that your output is really good too. Good thing my office does not behave like a corporate leash. Haha! Try some of these out and see the difference. You’ll be surprised how half an hour of me-time can do so much for your well-being.

♥

Beauty and Wellness, For Longer

Truly, life isn’t getting any better for us Filipinos, especially when you talk about money. That is why we need to scrape every penny that we own and invest it in things which are worth investing in. We spend for food, shelter, education, security, and others. In the category I just referred to as “others”, toiletries are classified under that.

So to save up on these not-so-essentials, here are some tips from a budget-conscious “kikay”.

1. Shampoo - Buy everything in bulk. The bigger the container is, the bigger your savings will be. The ones sold in sachets and in smaller containers have higher overhead cost, but the content is the same anyway. For as far as your grocery budget can bring you, buy the biggest body wash, shampoo, conditioner and lotion bottles there are. And you will save a lot in the long run.

Bonus: You also save yourself some emergency trips at the convenience store because you'll be running out of toiletries for much longer.

2. Foundation/ Tinted Moisturizers - It's best to get them in liquid/ gel/ mousse form, because you'll actually need to apply less of the material. They spread out really well, and evenly so you only use less, as compared to powder/ cake foundation. Just be careful with the blending.

Bonus: You don't need to use a puff or a brush to do the blending, and it usually lasts longer and spreads thinner so you get a more natural look.

3. Lipsticks/ Lip gloss/ Lip balms - When you apply a lip product, just do so at your lower lip and just press your lips together to spread out the color. Ta da! You just extended its life up to twice. Moreover, if you have old lipsticks, old lip balms and even old lip glosses, you can melt them all in a microwave and store them in a little container, like those Body shop lip balms. New shade, new shelf life! What a steal!

4. Mascara - It's best to buy waterproof mascara with a winner brush that won't smudge and won't clump your lashes so you don't have to reapply and use more material. Also, the more time you spend in applying mascara means more time leaving the lid open, which dries it out faster. When you are finally done, screw cap very tightly.

Bonus: Don't bother applying for your lower lashes. Also, by following the tip above, you save time.

5. Powder - Choose something light but long lasting, something shine-free also. This way, you don't have to retouch as often. Also, stretch your pressed powder's life by not removing the plastic which lies between the puff and the actual powder. This prevents the puff to constantly rub on the powder and in the process "steal" some powder.

6. Perfume – For your Eau de Toilette and Eau de Parfum stocks, just spray/ apply on areas where your pulse points are, for that is where you will maximize the scent exuding through you. Also, if you’re running out of perfume, just add a few drops of water and pour it on your body lotion. That way, you still wear the scent and you’ve just made the most out of your expensive fragrance.

7. Blush on – It’s best to get the one in gel forms because they blend very easily and you can just put them on-the-go. They create just the correct dewy coverage, and they can last for a very long time because you only use a little and they’d spread well (like those foundations). My 8 gram gel blush lasted for four months of everyday use!

Those are the things which just come off at the top of my head right now. If you have more suggestions, you can email me via live_out_loud@ymail.com.

Indeed, beauty comes with a price. But who says it’s non negotiable?