Thursday, July 17, 2008

Little things that make bitches happy

-Getting a new haircut. There's just something so liberating about changing the way you look, your morning routine, your shampoo budget.
Tip: Don't shampoo everyday. It strips off the natural moisture in your hair. Instead, condition everyday. It's milder than shampoo and relatively has more nutrients.

-Buying new shoes. No explanation needed.
Tip: Buy shoes in the afternoon. We have bigger feet during the afternoon.

-Flirting harmlessly. Now, now. Continue reading without that goofy smile on your face. I know, right? It's the rush we're after! It's the electricity flowing up and down your spine, in a zigzag manner, in meek explosions. It's a re-affirmation of your power over the opposite (or same!) sex. Ahlavet! Hahaha!
Tip: Eyelash-batting is so old school. Start a witty conversation instead.

-Curling up with a good (bitchy or non-bitchy) book. The normal life of a bitch is usually hectic, so reading a good book with 0% disturbance is equivalent to New Year celebration.
Tip: Reading girl-y classics (e.g. Pride and Prejudice, Little Women, Anne of Green Gables, The Feminine Mystique) gets you in touch with your inner goddess.

-Having a nice conversation with a long-time girlfriend over a mixed drink. The simple act of holding a glass on your hand while chatting is ultimately relaxing. It's like time never existed. Catch up with your love lives, your careers and whatever's hot. Yes, even the bartender.
Tip: Beware of getting drunk. Be sure that when you go home, the flush on your face should be composed of 90% sheer joyand 10% alcohol.

-Blogging. Total empowerment. The most pitiful thing in the world is a person without an opinion.
Tip: Write and rewrite! You're posting in an invisible world, I know. But don't give us bullshit. Hitting the X key at the upper right corner just takes 0.5 seconds.

4 comments:

rain&wine said...

exclusive for women lang po? hehe.

:)

tj08 said...

the shoes and the haircut? i can totally relate!

Jasmine said...

oh karla! i had one of these today.. "-Flirting harmlessly. Now, now. Continue reading without that goofy smile on your face. I know, right? It's the rush we're after! It's the electricity flowing up and down your spine, in a zigzag manner, in meek explosions. It's a re-affirmation of your power over the opposite (or same!) sex. Ahlavet! Hahaha!
Tip: Eyelash-batting is so old school. Start a witty conversation instead."... and shame on me.. i wasn't so bitchy! i chickened out! HAHAHAHA.. give me more bitch lessons PUH-LEEEZ! Hahahaha.

bitchvarsity said...

@rain&amp: hindi naman. women lang ang target audience. =)

@tj08: exactly! no woman should be apologetic about shoes and bags! hahaha!

@jasmine: LOL. The old adage goes...practice makes perfect! *wink wink*